luciazephyr: Book of the Still, the time traveler's lifeline (Default)
Whoa, wait. Keith and Joey are AWOL?

That kind of destroys the instafic I was writing... I thought Keith was out because he screwed up his foot more (since he's been out and about a lot, I hear) and I was doing a wee PRT bit with everyone giving Keith crap about it... *sadface*

Also, Joey's out all week?! Dan Abrams, you're a cutie, but... but... I love mah Joey. *grabby hands*

Oh, and this Monica chick that filled in for Keith? I hate her! She has no comedic timing and no snark which, I'm sorry folks, but if you're gonna fill in on Countdown you must have timing and snark on your side. Seriously, where the hell was Allison? We love Allison in my household. Allison is funny, snarky, sexy, and awesome. I miss her! She should be the official substitute for Keith.

-Luce

PS:
Mum: *shuts off Dan Abrams* I can't watch him! He's such a woman! Did you hear him giggle? He's annoying!
Luce: You can't watch Abrams, but you'll watch Andy?
Mum: No, see, David or Dan or whatever the fuck his name is- he's feminine. Anderson is more... asexual.
Luce: Anderson Hays Cooper is not asexual, Mum!
Mum: Well, he's not masculine, but he's not a girl...
Luce: That's not asexual, that's androgynous!
Mum: Eh, tomato, tomahto.
[...]
Luce: I love it. Keith gets filled in by a conservative-esque reporter and Joey gets a liberal Jew.
Mum: Whose almost flaming.
luciazephyr: Book of the Still, the time traveler's lifeline (Default)

  1. I got groped today in school. Twice. The first was fairly normal (Lizzie was feeling gay and I have big boobs, so... *shrugs*). The second wasn't at all. These two gals, Meg and Michelle, have been best friends since they were little kids and they were arm in arm, walking down the hall. I was getting my books out of my locker and Megan reached out and grabbed my ass.

    Yeah. 'Kay. *shakes head, puzzles*


  2. Tonight, Keith was talking to the Constitutional expert, Jonathan Turley, and Mum says, out of nowhere, says that she thinks he's a crossdresser.
    Luce: What?
    Mum: A crossdresser. Something about him. I bet he's wearing ladies underwear.
    Luce: *shakes head, says nothing*
    Mum: I'm not saying he's gay. Just a little kinky. He's got something about him. It's either crossdressing or getting spanked with a baby bottle in his mouth.
    Luce: Oh my god, Mum! I don't know you!

  3. Okay, while flipping through chat transcripts, I saw that the first occassion Chris and I referred to each other as wives was August 31st. Just... putting that on the record. *shakes head again*


  4. David Bowie > You. Seriously, this stuff rocks! "The Jean Genie", "Suffragette City", and "Life on Mars?" are phenomenal. And I can't not sing the "WHAM BAM, THANK YOU, MA'AM!" in "Suffragette". And I've tried. Oh, and the first chorus of "Life on Mars?" is totally says Oh man, look at those gay men go. The second verse is cavemen, but not the first. I will fight anyone who disagrees unless Bowie himself walks up and says otherwise. IT SAYS GAY MEN.


  5. Since all the songs the Scissor Sisters cover rock like a big ol' rocking thing, I'm thinking of making a mix of all the original songs and the Sisters' covers. Y/N?


  6. Joey is extremely tan today. And Keith was very cute. More so than usual.


  7. But the film is a saddening boooore, 'cause I wrote it ten times or moooore! It's about to writ again! As I ask her to focus on SAAAAAILORS! Fighting in the dance hall!


  8. I'm writing completely plotless porn. Seriously, no plot. It's GO-PRT verse, but... there's just sex. I have no idea what to do with it. *pokes the boys*


  9. The only people I regularly discuss fic with are Chris and Ashley. This makes me sad. Which does not mean I don't love my wife (see: #3). I just... I dunno? I think my muse is suffering. And that makes me depressed.


  10. Wonder if he'll ever know he's in the bestselling show.... Is there life on MAAAAAAAARS!


I'm done now.

-Luce

ETA: OMG FIGHT GOING DOWN ON JOEY'S SHOW. FUCK, THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS! AND JOEY IS LAUGHING!!! AND DRINKING A MOTHERFUCKING STARBUCKS SMOOTHIE!!! AND EGGING THEM ON!!!

That's it. Joey = Keith, on cool levels.
luciazephyr: Book of the Still, the time traveler's lifeline (Default)
Mum: IS THAT JOHN?
Luce: Where?
Mum: Behind the guy Joey's interviewing.
Luce: Oh-em-gee! John Oliver!
Mum: *punches air* Oh yeah, who's the man?
Luce: *sigh* You, Mum. You da man.


She so is.

-Luce
luciazephyr: Book of the Still, the time traveler's lifeline (Default)
My god...

[Outside, thunder rolls.]

Luce: *quiet ponder, then, in a soft voice* Storm's getting worse.

[Approximately ten seconds pass.]

Mum: *like sudden realization* We'll get through it soon enough.

Luce: ... Dude.

Mum: *spreads arms* Didn't think I'd get it, huh? Gimme a hug.

[HUG!]

My Mum is the best Mum in the entire world.

-Luce

PS: Didn't get it? It's the last lines of Serenity.

Apr. 1st, 2007 06:42 pm
luciazephyr: Book of the Still, the time traveler's lifeline (Default)
Luce: I thought we were having leftover Chinese tonight...
Mum: Oh! Okay. *puts pan away*
Luce: No, I mean, if you want to do chicken, that's perfectly groovy-
Mum: No, no, I'll just let this cool, put it away, and we'll have it tomorrow. Saves work.
Luce: But... you said you didn't want any more rice things...
Mum: No, it's okay. *smiles kinda scarily*
Luce: *sigh* You're driving me crazy.
Mum: *cheery* It's a short drive.


-Luce
luciazephyr: Book of the Still, the time traveler's lifeline (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] polaris_starz asked me what would happen if the PRT boys played Marry-Shag-Cliff* with each other.

My thoughts on it. )

Hey, only Stephen didn't get the cliff. *amused*

-Luce

* Just realized that some poor sap might not know of this game. You name three people and the other person has to choose who'd they'd marry (no sexing in conventional rules), who'd they'd shag (one night stand), and who'd they'd throw off a cliff. For example, a real one:

Lucy: Mum, Marry-Shag-Cliff for Dick Cheney, George W, and Karl Rove.
Mum: *driving* Hm... Marry Bush. I'd torture him for the rest of his life for what he's done, drive him slowly but throughly mad. Cliff Rove- he'll enjoy Hell, run a campaign against Satan.
Lucy: *realizes who's left* Oh, ew, Mum!
Mum: No, see, if I 'shag' him- you are not British, stop it. If I sex him, his heart may give out and he'll die and then we'll be free to impeach the other dickhead!
Lucy: *fears Mum*

And so on.
luciazephyr: Book of the Still, the time traveler's lifeline (Default)
*laughing*

Tony Blair is pulling out the British troops from Iraq. 1700 in weeks, 1500 in months. Majority home by Christmas.

Right after Prince Harry announced he'd enter the military and demanded to be put on the front lines to lead his men. Awesome. 'Cause if the Prince died in America's war, everyone would hate America forever.

...


Mum just pointed out something:

"I think he did that announcement knowing that it'd get the Brits to pull their troops out. The royal family is very smart, Harry could have been shooting for this response."

Again, my Mum > your Mum.

-Luce

PS: Keith looks smokin' hot tonight.
luciazephyr: Book of the Still, the time traveler's lifeline (Default)
The prettiest studio ever - tDS )

Mano on Manilow - tCR )

I am so full of love for Stephen, my heart may burst. If it does, someone call the tCR studio and tell Stephen I want a spot on his mantlepiece. Death by Colbert, baby.

-Luce
luciazephyr: Book of the Still, the time traveler's lifeline (Default)
Watching Jon...

Luce: So. The Daily Show has a token black guy, Canadian and woman, computer geek, Brit, and Jew. One American, Jason Jones. So, when is Stephen gonna come out and claim the Daily Show is unAmerican?
Mum: *giggles*
Luce: "Jon, you unpatriotic bastard, why is Jones the only American on your staff?" "Uh... I-I'm American, Stephen."
Mum: "You're a Jew, Jon. You don't count!"

Again, my Mum > your Mums.

-Luce
luciazephyr: Book of the Still, the time traveler's lifeline (Default)
I mentioned to Mum about the snippy, bitchiness you people got over my making you choose between Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. As a result, she helped me come up with this.

Feel free to beat the fuck out of me after you do this. There are no ticky boxes. You must choose.

Let the flames and tears begin.


[Poll #839501]

Part two of the poll is here. Make sure to vote in part one first! )

There! You're done! How much do you hate me now?

-Luce
luciazephyr: Book of the Still, the time traveler's lifeline (Default)
To those of you watching Jon right now:

I was born in Miami. According to Dave Gorman, I was born on the tip of Flaccid Penis with Tiny Ballsack.

Luce: Oh my god, Mother.
Luce's Mum: You know what that makes the Keys, right?
Luce: *dies of SHAME*


-Luce

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