Lucy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
luciazephyr) wrote2006-11-01 05:24 pm
luciazephyr) wrote2006-11-01 05:24 pm
Entry tags:
I turned out halfway good
...
No, I haven't started my NaNoWriMo. Have just finalized the road maps and taken another nap (am very tired, insomnia).
...
I got a call from my father, Scott.
Apparently the chance of child support for Mum is reopening and Scott has paper work now that happens to have our number listed. So he called. At first, I thought it was just one of Mum's co-workers who needed to talk to her about sometime and told him she was sleeping (long night out of town fixing another store in the chain that was screwed up and understaffed). He basically came out and said "oh, I'm... your father."
Um... Surreal?
And I took down his number for Mum to call back to and talked to him for a moment. He mentioned he was in Arkansas, just trying to get by, I said same here, ya know, small talk... He sounded nice.
I'm conflicted. I'm ticked at him for giving me a complex for my entire life (I don't deal well with losing people well, a la moving and such) and having the gall to be interested in me. On the other hand, I'm interested in him from a... scarily detacted sort of way? Like scientifically? "Oooh, half my gene pool, let's study him and see what he's like"-kind of thing.
And I want to show him up. On the phone, he mentioned, kinda to himself, "Thank god you sound intelligent". I have such a strong, horrible urge to be an absolute marvel and let him know that I didn't need him to turn out well. I'm political, sharp, smart, and some tell me I'm witty. I want him to be blown away and intimidated and... *shivers*
It's surreal.
-Luce
No, I haven't started my NaNoWriMo. Have just finalized the road maps and taken another nap (am very tired, insomnia).
...
I got a call from my father, Scott.
Apparently the chance of child support for Mum is reopening and Scott has paper work now that happens to have our number listed. So he called. At first, I thought it was just one of Mum's co-workers who needed to talk to her about sometime and told him she was sleeping (long night out of town fixing another store in the chain that was screwed up and understaffed). He basically came out and said "oh, I'm... your father."
Um... Surreal?
And I took down his number for Mum to call back to and talked to him for a moment. He mentioned he was in Arkansas, just trying to get by, I said same here, ya know, small talk... He sounded nice.
I'm conflicted. I'm ticked at him for giving me a complex for my entire life (I don't deal well with losing people well, a la moving and such) and having the gall to be interested in me. On the other hand, I'm interested in him from a... scarily detacted sort of way? Like scientifically? "Oooh, half my gene pool, let's study him and see what he's like"-kind of thing.
And I want to show him up. On the phone, he mentioned, kinda to himself, "Thank god you sound intelligent". I have such a strong, horrible urge to be an absolute marvel and let him know that I didn't need him to turn out well. I'm political, sharp, smart, and some tell me I'm witty. I want him to be blown away and intimidated and... *shivers*
It's surreal.
-Luce
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Now get writing, girl! ^^
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As for your father, I'm not entirely up on your family history, so I don't know how much I can say about having similar feelings. Me, I knew my father growing up -- he and Mom had a messy divorce when I was 8, and we moved to Savannah when I was 12...
Hrm. Will have to finish later. :(
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As for your dad, I'd say try to get to know him a little (even if it stemmed from a purely scientific curiosity.) Some of us aren't lucky enough to ever get to know our dads. It might give you some perspective on certain things. ^^ It wouldn't hurt to try?
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And you don't need to marvel for him. You're who you are because you are who you are, and I really like who you are. You're smart and funny and just about the best damned fangirl I've ever known. :)
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And, god, that is flattering. Thank you. My day is sucking and that made me feel better.