Why am I metaing about a character I have no right to meta about?

[luciazephyr]

So. RE5's ending. watched it again, this time on the Vidya² stream (which is ridiculously addictive, damn you gogodgene).

So Wesker. WEEEESKAH! No, um. WTF Capcom? Okay, my RE history is a little iffy so far since I'm still researching it, but it seems to me you had a really great Big Bad in that scenery chewing flash bastard. And what's more, you gave him a pretty cool motive. Obviously he's Ozymandias turned up to eleven (or at least, I connect them that way in my mind) but his motive to force natural selection and evolution to resume for humanity was pretty interesting to me. Then, in the final fight, he...

I dunno. He goes from "I'm trying to save the world" to "RAWR, I'M GONNA KILL EVERYONE, THIS WORLD IS WORTHLESS". Now either Capcom conveniently forgot in the span of twenty minutes the cool little motive they gave Wesker or.... um.... Wesker's throwing a hissyfit. AND IT REALLY COULD GO EITHER WAY. HE LOOKS LIKE THE TYPE TO THROW FITS. But it bugs me. It sucks that Wesker finally died. I really liked him. :(

He'll be back though. He's gotta have clones of himself stashed somewhere.

Also, I had a totally awesome dream last night. It was a goddamn RE/MGS crossover. And had Wesker being awesome and beating up Chris and Snake at the same time, and I think he captured Hal to make him build something. I'm gonna extrapolate and say it was a cyborg Tyrant. METAL GEAR CHIMERA? OUROUBOROS? SOMETHING. IT WAS COOL THOUGH.

And now I wanna write it. Driving around today, my head has been formulating ideas. :3

-Lucy

Comments

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

Ellen: THE PLOT GROWS EVER DEEPER
Lucy: HOW COULD WESKER SIDE WITH THE PANDAS
HOW COULD HEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?
Ellen: As it turns out, Carmen Sandiego is the leader of the furby rebellion. She controls his bank accounts. Thus, Wesker backs the pandas.
Also Barbie Girl rotted most of his decision-making ability skillzorz.
Lucy: That explains his cheap death in RE5.

[dontdiefox.livejournal.com]

Chris got up he couldn't take it! he unsheathed his sword and shot the furby in the head.

it spoke no more.

death and defience spoke in it's palace.

wesker stared and noticed that chris had gotten harder than mount rushmore.

he stared at chris.

"jrhos" wesker spoke.

and that was all chris needed to cum.

"i was a virgin before this," chris said afterwards.

he looked at wesker and noticed he was gone. oh well. there's always a next time.

he ran from the bed, ran to Wesker's backyard. the waves creashed upon his naked body. it was wet. tainted.

he looked on. his expression hardered.

hardened.

hardened.

and then a red figure rose from the water's water. Carman San Diego.

"i see you found me" she spoke.

chris was apt to run. so he ran. he ran so far away.

carmen rushed after him, just as fast.

"run run as fast as you can," chris panted, "you cant catch me im the ginger bread man."

"why didn't you tell me?!"

chris smiled and stopped. so did carmen.

it was time he spoke the truth about himself...

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

WE KNEW IT. KNEW CARMEN WAS BEHIND IT ALL.

We are on the EDGE OF YOU SEATS for the epic conclusion. We must know Chris' secret!

'he unsheathed his sword and shot the furby in the head.' oh my goooood that is the greatest sentence ever.

[dontdiefox.livejournal.com]

"it's true."

carmen paused.

"but the ginger bread man is said to be the last Cetra.

"that's me."

he pointed to himself with 3 thumbs.

"but i'm a cetra too." carmen frowned.

chris knew this was gonna go nowhere. so he decided suddenly it was night time.

a vampire appeared and he sparkled because he put eyeshadow glitter all over his skin. it was pink with some blue.

carmen died in an instant.

the only one left was chris.

the vampire revealed himself.

"i am Dracula," he announced. "carmen was a mere pawn. a plaything. a chess piece, you could say."

chris knew he couldn't deal with this. so he wrote in his livejournal. then he screamed "weeeesker" and wesker appeared.

"something wrong, hamster?" wesker said.

chris felt his cock throbbing at wesker's new petname for him. chris pointed at dracula.

wesker looked.

"it's been a while," wesker seeeeeethed.

"it has, hasn't it."

"where were we last time?"

"i think we were playing monopoly."

"a life or death game, right?"

"right."

chris hadn't known the two were acquantinces. enemies, apparently.

looked like a catfight was about to begin.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

DRACULA AND WESKER PLAY MONOPOLY TOGETHER.

DRACULA. AND WESKER. MONOPOLY.

:O

[dontdiefox.livejournal.com]

NOT JUST ANY MONOPOLY

LIFE OR DEATH MONOPOLY


-----

Wesker suddenly lunged forward and ripped dracula's clothes off. dracula did the same. within seconds, they were rolling around naked on the beach.

chris couldn't help but feel jealous. so he stripped.

***

it was the next day.

dracula was surprised it had ended this way. revenge turned to lust. lust turned to love. love turned to a threesome on the beach.

wesker was in the middle. chris on his right, dracula on his left.

chris moved on wesker, cuddling dracula. dracula gladly took chris in his arms.

sure, there was still there pandas to take care of, chris thought. and the responsibilites of being the world's last ginger bread man.

but for now...

this was nice.

----

the end

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

Fic of the Year.



FIC OF THE YEAR.

[dontdiefox.livejournal.com]

ty
btw, I'm kinda not drunk

idon'treallyknow

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

your mind terrifies me.

ilu ♥

[dontdiefox.livejournal.com]

me and my mind ilu too

it's like wesker/dracula/chris all over again

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

can I be wesker then?

[dontdiefox.livejournal.com]

only if i get to be dracula

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

your brain is chris then

lololol i guess you could say DRACULA HAS CHRIS ON HIS MIND, AMIRITE

[dontdiefox.livejournal.com]

or

vice versa:

CHRIS HAS HIS MIND ON DRACULA AND WESKER HAS HIS THING IN DRACULA WHICH IS SUBSEQUENTLY IN CHRIS IN DRACULA IN WESKER IN THE UPCOMING GAME RESIDENT EVIL 5 AND TWO THIRDS

[dontdiefox.livejournal.com]

wait

no

i think that's wrong

let's go with what you said and use it to fight the war in Iraqafghanistanalquedabinladen

[dontdiefox.livejournal.com]

dare me to post it

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

bitch plz, I already linked it

this glory has to be shared

[dontdiefox.livejournal.com]

oh yeah and:

Title: "There Was no Higher Ground"
Author: dontdiefox
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Wesker/Chris, Wesker/Dracula/Chris
Warnings: Rape, furby abuse
Summary: Chris is forced to stayed at wesker's mansion and before he knows it, he in for Mr.Toad's Wild Ride.

Hello, this is the aforementioned Ellen

[flamintwilight.livejournal.com]

\o/ HOORAY FOR HAPPY ENDINGS AND SEX ON THE BEACH. I hope the sand wasn't too uncomfortable..

Seriously, epic win. :D love you, offers to bear your children, etc.

Re: Hello, this is the aforementioned Ellen

[dontdiefox.livejournal.com]

is that ocelot unsuccessfully trying to rape Nude Snake?

I think it is

we should be friends

I swear i'm not usually this indrunkinated

[flamintwilight.livejournal.com]

Indeed it is. :D What do you mean unsuccessfully?

If your brain is this amazing while drunk, I would gladly stalk you. :D

Question: Does Dracula leaves glittery footprints when running from the sun?

[dontdiefox.livejournal.com]

unsuccessfully (un-sex-sexy-flea): n. 1) didn't happen 2) not gonna happen 3) only gonna happen if snake is topping 4) how much do you wanna bet Ocelot is thinking about singing in the rain w/ snake right now

yay okay. let's add each other. <3

answer: yes then he shrivels up and dies and turns into a pile of glitter and that is why the sky is blue and rainbows exist.

[flamintwilight.livejournal.com]

1) It happened in his mind. 2) And he managed violent foreplay! 3) I approve of this. 4) The question is: When isn't Ocelot thinking about singing in the rain with Snake?


YAY I'M LEARNING SCIENCE! BETWEEN THIS AND THE GENETICS I'VE LEARNED FROM LIQUID, I'M SURE TO ACE MY FINAL.

[dontdiefox.livejournal.com]

1) what if his mind happened in his mind and BB isn't even real and Raiden was the A.I all along and Rose is Cthulhu which is the only real thing since microwave dinners which aren't real either and mindfuck you with their delicious melty taste, then what huh? 2) i don't remember what you're talking about here but it says "violent foreplay" so I agree 3) who doesn't? 4) ASDKLJSLFDNOOOOOOOO NOT THE SONG NOT THE SONG NOT TH

[flamintwilight.livejournal.com]

1) ..I might have to catch that one in the mission briefing with Otacon.

Okay. So if Ocelot's mind is all in his mind, and everyone else is in his mind too, doesn't that make him god?
(Or just a deranged psychopath with a good imagination, I guess. Or maybe terrifying is a better adjective.)
2+3) :3
4) FOX? FOX? FOO-- damnit now it's on repeat.