done. done, I'm DONE.

[luciazephyr]

One: I have a massive headcold. Fever, congestion, bone-weariness, the whole nine yards. I was hoping to have MoC's next chapter done by now, but with illness and school, looks like it'll be delayed. Sorry.

Two: I am so fucking DONE with my religions class. Ready for the next installment in the continuing saga of my asshole privileged teacher?

So two weeks ago, we were covering Judaism in class and in every discussion topic, we're encouraged to share our personal experience and beliefs. So I go into my nominally Jewish childhood, explain out traditions and how it colored my cultural identity. Everyone seems to enjoy it, so I started getting back into the class after feeling very alienated.

Last week was Christianity. Knowing I was playing with sharks, I tentatively questioned a few students assuptions about their Christian faith (I'm the only non-Christian in class). Some scary person was looking forward to the next Great Flood (or whatever God decided to do instead of that, as God promised no reruns on the Flood thing) because we were hurting God's heart and would be made "pure" again. I asked her what would happen in this scenario to a good person who wasn't Christian.

I got an email on the third thanking me for asking my questions to the group. I felt encouraged and thought, hey, maybe I had this teacher wrong the whole time! Now he seems to be okay with my input in discussions. So I kept answering posts to be and posing questions to my fellow students.

On the fifth, I get another email from him saying he won't permit me to bait the other students and promote my own beliefs over them. saywhatnow.

I ask him to explain because, um, there's mixed signals and then there's diametrically opposed signals.

He suggests I drop the class because it doesn't seem to be what I'm looking for.

I just. What? How the. With the. What the. I mean.

So yeah. I'm just so done right now. Fuck this class, fuck my privileged teacher, fuck my classmates for being so incapable of even the smallest amount of self-examination over their beliefs.

To misquote Ani DiFranco, he's gonna put his two cents in 'cause he's a Christian son, but I'm gonna put in three 'cause history owes me one.

Comments

[thene]

wooooooooow. :/

Is there anyone you can complain to? A head of department or someone?

[luciazephyr]

I don't know! I mean, at this point, I regret every picking up the class. But I can't drop it because I can't afford to pay that money back and I hate this so fucking much I can barely see straight right now and I don't need this when I'm sick!

[binz]

dude, that is definitely take it to the dean level bullshit. try the department head first (unless that's him, or you're not comfortable in the atmosphere-- i.e. head is another minister, etc), but seriously keep taking that further up. keep your emails, screenshot any online discussions and fight. that's a fucking joke. it sucks to have to do that, but even if the education you're getting out of it is shit, it's your money and your time and your right not to be treated like ass.

[luciazephyr]

He's been telling me this is an "introductory class about religion" and I should seek out other venues for the questions I'm asking. Can't he just say "oh, she was going outside the confines of the intended discussion" and I'll still be screwed?

[binz]

No way. A student asks a question beyond the scope of a lesson, you meet with her later to discuss if you're awesome (because you're a teacher and teaching people and being glad for a bright student who wants to learn is what you've signed on for), suggest readings, other classes that might interest her in future if you're average, or tell her that those questions are beyond the lesson and scope of the class, but she should follow her interests independently if you're poor quality. You don't advise her to drop the class. That's antithetical to the role of a) higher education, b) teaching.

[samjohnsson]

Okay, seriously. I know I've been harping at you about this for a while, but here we go again.

I'm not responding, by the way, as a student. I am responding as a college-level instructor with five years experience at a major state university, having taught classes from ten students to four hundred.

That response and behavior, especially knowing you're the only non-Christian in the classroom, means you have an argument for a hostile learning environment. If you have all communication from the professor - including screenshots of what you're putting on the forums - then it is an actionable situation that needs to be brought to the chair of the department and/or dean of the college and/or the student legal advisory office and/or your academic advisor.

If I knew what school* you were at, I could give you a starting point. Contrariwise, if you have an actual faculty member whom you trust, ask them in confidentiality what the process for reporting potential discrimination by a teacher is.

*if you want to send me this in an email, samjohnsson (á) gmail

[samjohnsson]

Can't he just say "oh, she was going outside the confines of the intended discussion" and I'll still be screwed?

Nope, because - in addition to what binz said - by your testimony here, he's being inconsistent as to the boundaries of the discussion, as it applies to your questions.

[luciazephyr]

I know you have been. You've been a great reassurance to me, srsly. Especially now, since the teacher is obliquely threatening to drop me from the class himself (apparently, there's something in the syllabus that says if I miss more than two assignments, he reserves the right to drop me). I have all the pertinent email correspondence with him copied into a folder. I don't have the forum discussions yet.

[kethrua.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, that bites. I wish I could do something to actually help, but I can't, so I'm going to try to get chapter 17 of the Changes AU posted this evening. Feel better soon.

[thene]

I could be wrong but I have a feeling that he's expecting an academic web forum to follow the same culture of deference that the irl South does, ie, nothing gets challenged because CONFLICT IS BAD MMMKAY SO SHUT UP, and everyone has to keep within the conversational limits of the most right-wing person in the room and pretend to agree with them at all times. That positive email on the 3rd? I can't help but wonder if its intended message was 'you've said your piece SO NOW SHUT UP'. It's the kind of pass-agg bullshit I've seen a lot of since moving to GA. No idea how similar MO manners are but oh god is this culture insane and choking. oh god.