luciazephyr: Dress in Drag and Marry the Doctor! ([DW] Book of the Still. Really happened.)
1. So I just spent a full week reteaching myself computer information systems and web scripting after the drama of the move wrecked my college, right? And I succeeded (my teacher says he anticipates a huge recovery in my grade from all my catch-up work) for all intents and purposes.

Basically, Saturday was the first day in three solid weeks that I had to myself. No obligations, no moving, nothing to worry about for 24 hours.

So obviously my period decides to arrive that morning and incapacitate me for the duration.

My luck, guys. My fucking luck.

2. I HAVE DISCOVERED JOHN GREEN'S CRASH COURSE: WORLD HISTORY SERIES. oh my gooooood this shit is fascinating as fuck and hilarious and Green's enthusiasm for history makes it VERY easy to learn. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ABOUT SNAILS! TELL ME MORE, JOHN GREEN! /chinhands

3. I realized yesterday that I haven't visited LJ to do anything but reply to comments in months. So it's gone from my bookmark bar. Do folks still use LJ? Whyyyyy. Come to DW, it's better in pretty much every way.

4. I am excited for Elementary and the next person to claim they are ripping off BBC Sherlock will be fed to a lion. This summarizes my feelings on the matter well:

A tweet by user peasantings saying "I'm really glad Sir Arthur Conan Doyle came back from the grave, and told Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat 'worry about my brand.'"

Moffat, shut your mouth and go ruin some more female characters or whatever it is you do in your free time.

5. So. Fic. I'm settled in Florida and despite the fact I fucking hate being here and everything about this fucking state (ask my about my grandmother's racism sometime), I am slowly getting back into the swing of writing again. I have a shortish one-shot Dresden fic that is half Binz's fault and half thisfishflies's fault about Harry wearing nail polish.

(Actually it's mostly Binz's fault because if you get her talking about Harry's idealization of femininity, she will give you Ideas about Harry embracing parts of himself he feels he's not allowed to and you will get Feels and it will suck, but seriously, if Binz wants to talk at you about this, let her, it's fascinating and full of feels.)

(Also, the fic is called Hand Jobs, WHICH I WANT TO ESTABLISH WAS BINZ'S IDEA. NOT MINE.)

So that'll eventually get posted. Then it's time for some fucking Matter of Chicago renewal, aaaaw yeeeeah.

6. 100% unrelated to Dresden, I have been slowly writing a Dragon Age: Origins fic that's pretty much me dealing with the game's lack of dealing with issues of anti-elf racism and the fact the City Elf origin revolves around rape and sexual assault. It's not grimdark, but it's pretty serious. Totally unbeta'ed though. For the curious: oh, bring me a love that can sweeten a sword.

7. I don't believe in uppercased letters in titles okay? okay.

8. So on Tumblr for some inexplicable reason there has been a random renaissance of The 10th Kingdom, a miniseries you probably never heard of but it was amazing, okay? It was a post-modern twist on fairy tales and had some really stellar writing and some of the most interesting characters ever. And this 10K renaissance reminded me of my love for the protagonist, Virginia Lewis, and that in turn made me think about the Characters I Have Loved. I came up with four, and I'm going to briefly share them with you under the cut.

Characters Lucy Has Really Strong Feelings About )

10. Hey, anyone have any advice on getting cheap airplane flights? Or maybe have some coupon codes lying around? Just wondering.
luciazephyr: the crest for Alpha Beta Gamma, of Carpe Brewski ([Misc] drunk in a library)
I think the stress of finals is getting to me. My maths final went surprisingly well (or so I think-- I'm not a good judge for maths), I think my oral presentation went okay, and I managed to get my AmDiv essay done on time. Now I'm rushing to finish 75% of the work for my Bio112 experiment, which is due tomorrow at 2PM.

But, erm. I was making dinner and happened to burn the bacon, and I started crying. Then I burnt my toast and decided I wasn't hungry anymore.

One more day, though. One more day, then I'm done. And I know I owe a lot of people replies and emails-- sorry about that. I'm a little frantic at the moment.

On the bright side: soon I will have time for fic again. And Mum says that she's going to go re-buy Mass Effect and we'll play through the entire series again as a reward for finishing this semester. Adelaide Shepherd will be reborn and kick ass once again!
luciazephyr: Utena Tenjou, the once and future prince ([RGU] once and future prince)
Note to self:

Tuesday: Bring the tiles to Bio112.

Wednesday: Remedial mathematics final at 7PM. Bring the print-out.

Thursday: Oh boy.
  1. Have final essay on diversity ready for AmDiv.

  2. Have all notes printed off and in the folder.

  3. Have poster ready for Bio112.

  4. Have book read and notes ready to give oral report.

Friday: Get backlog of maths work finished by noon.

:breathes into a paper bag:
luciazephyr: IT'S BACON ICE CREAM! [cue lightning flash, evil cackle] ([3PS] no good can come from this madness)


Farewell, my religions teacher, I cordially invite you to go fuck yourself. 8D

Oh and while I'm slacking on MoC (now that finals are done, it should go quicker!), I'm writing a mute!Harry fill on the kinkmeme. As you do.
luciazephyr: Janelle Monae, "I saved you so you'd save the world" ([♪] I saved you so you'd save the world)
Obligatory Matter of Chicago update: OKAY I have temporary betas for MoC. But I have finals until Monday, so not much MoC focus is around to be had. The next chapter is currently around 6,500 words and not close to done, so it's going to be one of those mammoth chapters that take me a little longer to write anyway. Trust me, this is the way to do it. Otherwise you'd get half a chapter with a massive annoying cliffhanger. No one likes cliffhangers, amirite? This way, ya'll get the big final showdown in one chunk, then we'll deal with aftermath. Mmkay?

Other stuff: I have been gifted with a paid DW account now! Gosh! I mean, LJ's shenanigans have been annoying the shit out of me forever and DW is kind of superior in every way to LJ. So I may be for reals migrating over there. I just wish fandom at large would do the same. But DW has the Dresden Files kink meme and now a Dresden/Marcone comm with, omg, actual moderators, so yeah. DW > LJ.

But all that will have to wait until after finals anyway.

Oh, and I'm probably gonna give my DW and the MoC comm makeovers. Again, after finals. My last one opens on Monday, so. :bites nails:

In unrelated news, does anyone have a copy of Suzanne Vega's "Language"? I can't get mine off my Zune as Mum is hogging the only Windows-enabled computer.
luciazephyr: Book of the Still, the time traveler's lifeline (Default)
Classmate: So, you state "we as adults should be allowed to create and read any ‘obscene’ material we deem fit", where do we draw the line? And, in whose opinion is it "fit"? What if my idea of "fit" is considered child pornography? Or what if it is domination? I know that there are currently laws that forbid those types of actions - which are illegal. But if these things aren't considered obscene because we can choose whether or not to view them, then it is a slippery slope to legalizing them.

Lucy: First off, as someone who has a lot of friends who are into D/s in the bedroom, please tread lightly when using "child pornography" and "dominance" in the same example. This is a basic idea of consent. Children cannot consent in any meaningful way to sexual conduct. Adults, however, can, and should feel free to have as much fun as they want with another consenting adult. These two ideas aren't even remotely related and a lot of people would be insulted to see them grouped together.

oh, it gets better )
luciazephyr: Book of the Still, the time traveler's lifeline (Default)
One: I have a massive headcold. Fever, congestion, bone-weariness, the whole nine yards. I was hoping to have MoC's next chapter done by now, but with illness and school, looks like it'll be delayed. Sorry.

Two: I am so fucking DONE with my religions class. Ready for the next installment in the continuing saga of my asshole privileged teacher?

So two weeks ago, we were covering Judaism in class and in every discussion topic, we're encouraged to share our personal experience and beliefs. So I go into my nominally Jewish childhood, explain out traditions and how it colored my cultural identity. Everyone seems to enjoy it, so I started getting back into the class after feeling very alienated.

Last week was Christianity. Knowing I was playing with sharks, I tentatively questioned a few students assuptions about their Christian faith (I'm the only non-Christian in class). Some scary person was looking forward to the next Great Flood (or whatever God decided to do instead of that, as God promised no reruns on the Flood thing) because we were hurting God's heart and would be made "pure" again. I asked her what would happen in this scenario to a good person who wasn't Christian.

I got an email on the third thanking me for asking my questions to the group. I felt encouraged and thought, hey, maybe I had this teacher wrong the whole time! Now he seems to be okay with my input in discussions. So I kept answering posts to be and posing questions to my fellow students.

On the fifth, I get another email from him saying he won't permit me to bait the other students and promote my own beliefs over them. saywhatnow.

I ask him to explain because, um, there's mixed signals and then there's diametrically opposed signals.

He suggests I drop the class because it doesn't seem to be what I'm looking for.

I just. What? How the. With the. What the. I mean.

So yeah. I'm just so done right now. Fuck this class, fuck my privileged teacher, fuck my classmates for being so incapable of even the smallest amount of self-examination over their beliefs.

To misquote Ani DiFranco, he's gonna put his two cents in 'cause he's a Christian son, but I'm gonna put in three 'cause history owes me one.
luciazephyr: Book of the Still, the time traveler's lifeline (Default)
My teacher and I are not going to meet up to talk, it seems. There is no reason I should feel uncomfortable in my Religions class, apparently.

Yeah, okay.

contempt in gif form

From here on out, I'm not going to engage in the discussions or homework as I have been. I'll keep it simple and academic and refrain from sharing my thoughts. I'm halfway through. Soon it'll be over.

Man, I just LOVE it when people tell me how I should or shouldn't feel about something. That's awesomne.
luciazephyr: Mercutio, intense and dark ([Misc] Queen Mab hath been with you)
LJ/DW. Guize. Help me out here.

What the fuck does this mean?

We will have to disagree. Compassion is absolutely related to faith. I find it curious that anyone would challenge that idea. Now granted, faith doesn't have an exclusive connection with compassion, but nevertheless, faith and compassion are related.

Help me out. For the reminder of the semester put less emphasis on what you don't believe and start sharing more about what you do believe. Then, whatever it is that you do believe, try to find a way to relate it to what we are studying that particular week. Your perspective, shared in a positive light, can be informative for the class.

I... I don't know what do say back to him. Halp? Please?

:jaw drop:

ETA: I think I'm going to ask to meet up with him because I'm so lost right now. Keep in mind at the top of every assignment is instruction to relate the reading back to our own beliefs. I don't have religious beliefs, so I always related the reading to philosophical beliefs I follow(ed) and to religious ideas I've heard of. That's the only way I know how to interact. Now I feel like I'm being told not to do that.

I'm so confused.
luciazephyr: Book of the Still, the time traveler's lifeline (Default)
"Thanks for the explanations, but I have to ask if you truly believe your statement that you "have no reason to believe any of these faith-based ideas. . ." It can be argued that showing compassion to another person is a faith based idea."

Yes, I do truly believe it, thank you.

And no, it really can't.
luciazephyr: Sherlock, sharply in focus but barely in frame ([SH] call it crying lightning)
Tell me, LJ/DW. What does it mean when your teacher asks you to explain how you deal with your existential fear of death, you do so, and then they say,

Thanks for sharing. There is so much in this post that needs to be unpacked, but this board isn't the time or place for it and I do respect your beliefs as they are right now at this point in your life.

And earlier they asked me, "If you don't mind, tell me again what you are hoping to gain from the class?"

Dean is wondering what this fuckery is about

Um. Okay. Maybe the teacher just isn't very good at saying things without accidentally sounding condescending. I'm going to wait a few more weeks, see if this keeps up, and if it does I'll send a email to them drowning in politesse, asking them to please stop assuming atheism is a quaint little phase on my part.

ETA: :checks something: Teacher is an ordained minister with a degree in Divinity. Oh. :nervous, edges away from class:
luciazephyr: Sherlock, sharply in focus but barely in frame ([SH] call it crying lightning)
oh god oh god oh god...

My Mass Media class has a project coming up. I can write a 10-15 page paper on a media topic

or I can make a 4-6 minute video on a topic.

OH FUCK YEAH. Oh man I just have to decide what to talk about... Casual sexism in video games? The interplay of sex and violence in television? Overwhelming heterosexism in everything? Maybe get a little daring and cover a fannish topic?

luciazephyr: Sherlock, sharply in focus but barely in frame ([SH] call it crying lightning)
I don't have words for the frustration I feel. I don't know what to think anymore about this disconnect between my writing and school.

Because I'm in college and I'm supposed to be writing a reference report paper on 15 references I've collected for my thesis. Except my thesis is so bland and pointless and says nothing of interest. Why did I pick the public's perceived disconnect between genetics and ethics, because god knows I have less than no opinion on the subject. I just wanted something that fit the theme of Frakenstein (which I still haven't read and have no urge to). Now I think, because this thesis has me literally so uninspired I cannot write a word about it, I have to pick a new thesis altogether. I have no idea what. It's not even the usual "I don't much care about the topic"-- I have literally no opinion to share or interesting insights to offer. There is nothing there.

I want to learn to write in a manner that exceeds what I already do. I am sick of year after year of nonsense reports no one cares about. Do you realize I've been phoning it on my English papers since I started high school? That's not an exaggeration. In fact, the paper I got the biggest praise for was an examination of the themes in Macbeth. A play I skimmed, never read the final act of, and had a generally low opinion of. I completely bullshitted my essay the night before it was due. My teacher adored it and left me glowing praises.

This gets better, right? I will actually start learning shit soon, I hope? Because I can say in complete honesty I have grown more as a writer by experimenting with my fanfic style and attempting to tell a good, solid fannish story than I have from any schooling I've had in my life.

I am so sick of this. It feels like throwing my money away and in total honesty, I cannot afford to throw money away at all.

When do they teach you about creating a new character you know better than yourself? When do they teach that "said" is an invisible word that can be used often without consequence? When do they, fuck, teach basic goddamn sentence flow? The way a story has to have rhythm and cadence, like music? How sometimes it's better to hold back description and use subtle cues to help your reader visualize something? That any scene you write has to serve a purpose in the story either by advancing plot or character development?

Because I learned each and every one of these lessons and none of them from the education system.

Fuck, I am so aggravated.

I keep doing that thing where I put on AF's "Windowsill" and want to beat my fists against the wall along with the drums and just scream the lyrics. Without music I would be a fucked up mess curled up on the floor.

mtv what have you done to me?
save my soul, set me free
set me free, what have you done to me?
I can't breathe, I can't see
world war three, when are you coming for me?
been kicking up sparks, so set the flames free
the windows are locked now, so what'll it be?
your house on fire? or the rising sea?

why is the night so still? why did I take that pill?
because I don't wanna see it at my windowsill
luciazephyr: Book of the Still, the time traveler's lifeline ([DW] with him it's the real thing)
Can I just say how much I hate my EngComp class?

Not because I'm bad at it. Oh no. It's just the fact I've done this exact same course over and over and over again in my academic career and I am so sick of it. This is why for my summer classes, I wrote a goddamn novel of fanfic instead of focusing on my work and I still got a 95% on my final. Writing CTMWR was infinitely more challenging and a test of my abilities than the latest in a long line of "read this article/book and write a paper on it."

And I swear to god EngComp 2 is the exact same class as EngComp 1. Point for point, it's all the same. Come the fuck on.

For the class, I have to pick a book to read and write my final paper on. I have a very limited, unappealing selection to pick from:
  • Grapes of Wrath - Steinbeck (I refuse to do this after having to watch the movie two separate times in high school. I'm done with this story.

  • The Jungle - Upton Sinclair (I can't do this one- I have a relevant squick that will ensure I won't make it through the book.)

  • Their Eyes Were Watching God - Zora Neal Thurston (Considered this, but phonetic spelling is my literature Berserk Button and NO.)

  • The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini (No major objections besides not wanting to read it in the slightest.)

  • Bandages and Bullets - Robert J. Saniscalchi (I was going to do this one, but apparently I can only get it via the internet, and I don't like buying things online.)

  • Frankenstein - Mary Shelley (No major objections besides the same issue I have with the next one as well...)

  • The Historian - Elizabeth Kostova (I hate period pieces. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. I cannot express the sort of hate I have for them. They are the literary equivalent of rap music to me: not only do I not like them, I would rather sit in a dark room without any form of entertainment than read/listen to them.)

I have a deep disdain for the prospect of reading any of these books, let alone writing a paper on them. I would kill for a little leeway. Lemme read.... IDK, Heinlein or Asimov or Stephenson. Gimme spec fic and I will write you something worthwhile and interesting, I swear.

If anyone wants to tell me which of these would suck the least to read, I'm all ears.

Also, I lost a not-close relative today and the reminder of mortality has me more depressed than usual. Mum asked, "Do you want to see a shrink?" just a bit ago. Nope, Mum. After all, sadness is like happiness, but for deep people. I keep calm and carry on.


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