random fan of your fanfic, so feel free to disregard my two cents...my rather belated two cents at that...
Your response to whatever happened was valid and appropriate. You have a right feel and be safe in your relationships with family, partners, friends, roommates, etc. Taking a moment away from a stressful situation is a mature and reasonable response. There is always a third option in an either or situation. Am most disturbed by the fact that 'she' grabbed your arm. Personal space and consent are real issues in interpersonal interactions. If you have a friend or someone you trust, like a psychologist or social worker, you may feel like talking to them about your feelings of being trapped, dealt with magnanimously, disregarded and emotional turmoil.
Disregard the idiot who made the comment about skyrim being depressive and people recommending medication; the problem is not in your head or some incidental thing if you have such a strong response to it. Even months after a trauma, the emotional stresses and responses may remain so don't worry if you still feel strongly about whatever occurred.
Most of what I've said above comes from my own experience, so I guess the last thing to say is that when bad stuff happens, everyone reacts to it in their own way, but with a lot of common points. It's normal to feel powerlessness. It's normal to second guess yourself, particularly after a breach of trust. It's normal to be angry and lose your temper. It's normal to fell shame or fear and to be less assertive. It's normal to obsess over what happened. It's normal to not think about it at all. It's normal to have all or none of these experiences, in any combination. The key to recovery is to identify what happened, how you feel about it, to come to terms with those feelings, and to do so at your own pace. I found it helped, with feelings of powerlessness for example, to set myself tasks where I changed things about my life. For instance, I might cook something entirely different for dinner, go to a new bookstore, try a new fandom, create something from spare art supplies.
anywho, sorry for the long and nosy comment. I hope you are well in the future.
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regna
valid responses are valid
Date: 2012-11-04 06:11 pm (UTC)Your response to whatever happened was valid and appropriate. You have a right feel and be safe in your relationships with family, partners, friends, roommates, etc. Taking a moment away from a stressful situation is a mature and reasonable response. There is always a third option in an either or situation. Am most disturbed by the fact that 'she' grabbed your arm. Personal space and consent are real issues in interpersonal interactions. If you have a friend or someone you trust, like a psychologist or social worker, you may feel like talking to them about your feelings of being trapped, dealt with magnanimously, disregarded and emotional turmoil.
Disregard the idiot who made the comment about skyrim being depressive and people recommending medication; the problem is not in your head or some incidental thing if you have such a strong response to it. Even months after a trauma, the emotional stresses and responses may remain so don't worry if you still feel strongly about whatever occurred.
Most of what I've said above comes from my own experience, so I guess the last thing to say is that when bad stuff happens, everyone reacts to it in their own way, but with a lot of common points. It's normal to feel powerlessness. It's normal to second guess yourself, particularly after a breach of trust. It's normal to be angry and lose your temper. It's normal to fell shame or fear and to be less assertive. It's normal to obsess over what happened. It's normal to not think about it at all. It's normal to have all or none of these experiences, in any combination. The key to recovery is to identify what happened, how you feel about it, to come to terms with those feelings, and to do so at your own pace. I found it helped, with feelings of powerlessness for example, to set myself tasks where I changed things about my life. For instance, I might cook something entirely different for dinner, go to a new bookstore, try a new fandom, create something from spare art supplies.
anywho, sorry for the long and nosy comment. I hope you are well in the future.