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luciazephyrKeith had a desperately earnest look on his face. It didn't suit him at all. "What?"
"Am I being kidnapped?" Anderson smiled softly.
"Oh, I try to do a nice thing, rescue you from the hungry media masses, and I'm accused of kidnapping?" Keith tsk'ed. "Figures."
Yeah, I'm writing fic again.
Hey, um, weird request, LJ. Consider it my late birthday gift: Can anyone get me the song "How to Save a Life" by The Fray? I just realized it's like a shot of catharsis in the arm. You know those weird songs you find that seem like they were written specifically for you? Well, this is one of mine.
According to various "what's this song mean" sites, HtSaL is about a man mentoring a drug addict. Fine. For me, it's a break-up with someone I loved dearly and how it was unavoidable and awful.
I mean... literally every line of the song feels way too personal and strange. From the opening of asking him to sit down and talk- we tried talking our differences through so many times and after a while, we did it just to pretend we were making the effort ('he smiles politely back at you; you stare politely right on through'). And then the thing that made me sit up straighter was the next lines ('as he goes left and you stay right, between the lines of fear and blame, you begin to wonder why you came') that could only be more accurate if you swapped the "right" and "left". I went left, really.
And the chorus... I would have stayed, kept talking and trying to fix things if I knew how to save us. I tried many times and it just didn't work out.
And then, THEN! Haha, the next verse would be me slapping myself for being such a royal bitch. 'Let him know that you know best, 'cause after all you do know best' because, well, I'm right and I honestly believe that he was wrong and I still do. It's not a good way to think, but... he's wrong. 'Try to slip past his defense without granting innocence'? Yep, I did that. Tried to convince him and make him incorrect and ashamed. I did that, and I regret it. But I meant the best, meant to enlighten. ('Lay down a list of what is wrong, things you told him all along and pray to God he hears you.')
And after, even more fighting, but toward the end of our relationship, 'he begins to raise his voice, you lower yours and grant him once last choice', 'cause, after months of fighting, I was just sick of it and couldn't deal with it anymore. The last part, though, was more recent between us: 'He will do one of two things: he will admit to everything' (he screwed me over in a specifically horrible way that makes bile rise in my throat to even think of), 'or he'll say he's just not the same' (even though he was, he hadn't changed at all since the last fight a year before), and...
'And you'll begin to wonder why you came.'
God knows, I still do wonder. It wasn't worth it at all and it hurt and still does.
... Okay, everyone, it's safe to read again, I'm done being emo and self-absorbed. *grins*
So... anyone have the song and wouldn't mind sending me an upload of it?
*is very tempted to make a "tell me what songs mean the most to you and why" meme, just to see if anyone else has a song like this*
-Luce
"Am I being kidnapped?" Anderson smiled softly.
"Oh, I try to do a nice thing, rescue you from the hungry media masses, and I'm accused of kidnapping?" Keith tsk'ed. "Figures."
Yeah, I'm writing fic again.
Hey, um, weird request, LJ. Consider it my late birthday gift: Can anyone get me the song "How to Save a Life" by The Fray? I just realized it's like a shot of catharsis in the arm. You know those weird songs you find that seem like they were written specifically for you? Well, this is one of mine.
According to various "what's this song mean" sites, HtSaL is about a man mentoring a drug addict. Fine. For me, it's a break-up with someone I loved dearly and how it was unavoidable and awful.
I mean... literally every line of the song feels way too personal and strange. From the opening of asking him to sit down and talk- we tried talking our differences through so many times and after a while, we did it just to pretend we were making the effort ('he smiles politely back at you; you stare politely right on through'). And then the thing that made me sit up straighter was the next lines ('as he goes left and you stay right, between the lines of fear and blame, you begin to wonder why you came') that could only be more accurate if you swapped the "right" and "left". I went left, really.
And the chorus... I would have stayed, kept talking and trying to fix things if I knew how to save us. I tried many times and it just didn't work out.
And then, THEN! Haha, the next verse would be me slapping myself for being such a royal bitch. 'Let him know that you know best, 'cause after all you do know best' because, well, I'm right and I honestly believe that he was wrong and I still do. It's not a good way to think, but... he's wrong. 'Try to slip past his defense without granting innocence'? Yep, I did that. Tried to convince him and make him incorrect and ashamed. I did that, and I regret it. But I meant the best, meant to enlighten. ('Lay down a list of what is wrong, things you told him all along and pray to God he hears you.')
And after, even more fighting, but toward the end of our relationship, 'he begins to raise his voice, you lower yours and grant him once last choice', 'cause, after months of fighting, I was just sick of it and couldn't deal with it anymore. The last part, though, was more recent between us: 'He will do one of two things: he will admit to everything' (he screwed me over in a specifically horrible way that makes bile rise in my throat to even think of), 'or he'll say he's just not the same' (even though he was, he hadn't changed at all since the last fight a year before), and...
'And you'll begin to wonder why you came.'
God knows, I still do wonder. It wasn't worth it at all and it hurt and still does.
... Okay, everyone, it's safe to read again, I'm done being emo and self-absorbed. *grins*
So... anyone have the song and wouldn't mind sending me an upload of it?
*is very tempted to make a "tell me what songs mean the most to you and why" meme, just to see if anyone else has a song like this*
-Luce
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-25 03:31 am (UTC)And just a question, was this person happen to be the one you did the letter on in English last year?
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-25 03:34 am (UTC)Um, dunno. Refresh my memory- do you remember anything about the letter? (Sorry, I just did so much writing last year, I only recall a handful of things off the top of my head. Maybe I should slow down on the writings?)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-25 03:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-25 03:41 am (UTC)The one I wrote the English letter about was a boy named Lance. *grins* I pretended he's started smoking and I wanted to make him stop. The real Lancey would never smoke (i hope, omg).
*shocked you remember that, wow*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-25 03:43 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-25 04:13 am (UTC)And um, wow, it was your birthday? Did..did I miss it? Maaaan. I've only been catching about half of what goes on on my flist and must have not seen that.
I'm feeling the sudden need to manip Stephen and Jon into wearing party hats.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-25 05:09 am (UTC)You missed it, but I kinda didn't warn people it was approaching, so don't worry about it.
I never say no to Stephen. *licks Stephen, who was phenom tonight, omg*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-25 06:22 am (UTC)And yes he was wrong, I firmly believe that too. What really got to me was how he doesn't even agree to disagree, he's hellbent on convincing you that he's right...
Aargh. Sorry for going emo at you. *huggles* But believe me Luce, we know how it is. And it definitely wasn't your fault that things turned out like they did.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-25 06:26 am (UTC)You are so not being emo. If anyone is, I am for even bringing it up again, but the song's got my heart and I needed to write all this shite out to just get rid of it.
*hugs back*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-25 02:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-26 04:20 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-26 04:21 am (UTC)