(no subject)

Mum's going to send me out to job hunt again tomorrow. Hit every store in Town that I can. Because she thinks I'll be miserable in Florida, and doesn't want to send me. That seems to imply that I'm not miserable here. And I am. I lay awake at night, wracked with guilt over what a useless person I am. if anything, I think Florida will be better. There I won't have to be in Mum's presence, constantly upsetting and disappointing her. Sure, Miami-Dade/Broward are of Florida is like a Tenth Circle of Hell, but knowing my only parent hates me is worse.

She also flippantly said, "well it's not like you're going to school." Which is just... infuriating. It took me forever to be convinced by multiple parties that waiting to go to college was not a horrible thing that would ruin my life. Days like this, I miss Ashley talking to me about how the world really works.

I'm really glad for Amat right now. I don't give a damn if the RP gets flack for being sex-based; the people I've met and the plots I've been lucky enough to be part of prove everyone wrong. Plus it keeps me sane.

-Lucy