oh god I am not writing this I swear

Further proof I should not be allowed on Twitter because I ramble...

Why hasn't someone written a Dresden Files AU with Harry as a baker? Because it would so work.

See, Harry owns a coffeeshop/bakery combo. It is the best food in town. People are convinced Harry is a wizard of some sort, his food is so good. Bob is his sous chef, and Harry does his best to keep him in the back because otherwise he hits on everyone in the store.

Murphy and Michael are his most regular customers. Murphy teaches at the martial arts studio down the block and needs the carbs after her long day of kicking ass. Michael buys in bulk for his family and his church, so his purchases and commissions alone cover Harry's expenses. 8D Maybe Molly cashiers a few days a week as her first job.

And Marcone is obviously a sleek, ruthless corporate lawyer (probably the head of the firm) who becomes more than a little enamored by Harry's phenomenal cooking. So he tries to hire Harry as his personal cook, but Harry turns him down. So he keeps coming in, trying to convince Harry, having expensive ingredients delivered, hitting on him all the time.

AND HIS DAUGHTER IS IVY. Come on, we all want father!Marcone in fic. She is his prodigy daughter who enjoys Harry's cupcakes very much and sits with her bodyguard Kincaid in the shop after school until her father shows up to take her home.

And Susan still a reporter and keeps showing up, claiming to be writing a column on Harry's shop but seems to be just flirting with him. OR MAYBE SHE IS JUST AFTER HIS SCONES. SCANDAL!


Someone please write this, I don't have the time to. BUT COME ON! Harry as a tall awkward baker who turns everything he touches into yummy awesomeness and everyone wants a piece of him, but he just wants to run his little shop, thanks.

HARRY. IN AN APRON. BEING ADORABLE. AND HIT ON BY EVERYONE WHO WANTS HIS FINE ASSBAKED GOODS.