Review for Mice, my author.
Jan. 17th, 2005 01:40 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
luciazephyrIgnore this post. It's only here cause LJ comment can only be so long and I hate email.
Well then my author, you asked for it. Spoiled, aren't you? I give you a few lengthy reviews and I'm expected to for every chapter. Reader abuse, I tell you. ;-D
Ooh, I recognize the quote! It's like the one in MSP5. There's a Second Elegy apprently. But my favorite is the Remote Important Region. It was beautiful enough I wrote it in one of my school notebooks.
I'm surprised there was no going deeper into Ford's 1.11 bitchiness. Seriously, I wanted to smack him on three different occasions. But I suppose, as a fic author, it's hard for you to pass judgement on such a background character.
So glad Shel's around. Carol is so... gah. But I suppose opposition with Atlantis is a main theme of the story.
So glad for the scene with Rodney's breakdown. He did almost kill Carse, even though the situation was twisted. I imagined this kind of response from him; the protectiveness for his lover enforced by trying to stay away from him.
I've figured out a few chapters back that despite his stand-off-ish attitude, he's fiercely devoted to anyone he let's in. As in risk-it-all-when-you-don't-have-to kinda thing. Considering his outside appearances, you wouldn't think so. Such a frightened little man.
Knicked the bone. Ow. I love the correctness of the medical stuff in MSP. In so many fics, people wave it off, but the extra effort in this fic makes a huge difference. I wish more people would do this. After all, they come up with drawn out math problems for Shep in fandom, why not MD babble for Carse?
I'm suddenly wanting someone in SGA/fandom to call Carson "Carse". The episode/fic it happens will officially kick ass. It's an awesome name.
Ah, poor Siwicki has no idea what's she's getting into befriending McKay. Man can be a facade of a sort of twitchy calm (whoa, oxymoron) and snaps in a second to his vunerable inside, all angsty and sad. But I get the impression that what I said about Rodney's protectiveness above applies to Erin too.
Okay, this part I don't get at all. Why would Carse go talk to Teyla? She's nice and all, but... I dunno. Never saw them as close friends. Both are so different.
Ah, Hoff. The key to the Beckett!Angst, right there. I stand by the fact that TPTB will bring back the Wraith killing med later for some kinda of souper weapon thingy.
Aw, Rodney gives massages! You must revisit this at a later time. So sweet. Plus, you see the hand!porn in "Brotherhood"? Man has pianist's hands after all these years.
Like the little thought Carson gave to Rodney's past after waking on the couch. He's careful and I'm glad the whole rape thing wasn't just dropped after they discussed it. Little nuances like this are as good as deeper exposition.
Huh. I won't graphically recall the smut, but it surprised me. Dominant!Rodney after such an event makes so much sense. He has to have Carse nearby and make sure he's alive and in one piece. I agree; at this point, if he loses Carson, it'd kill him. Maybe not physically (never struck me as the suicidal type), but emotionally. Hinthint: Maybe a mini-plot where Rodney plays hero to Carson offworld, without the natural causes? Seperation would be totally like emo!whumpage.
Heh! I adore Siwicki more and more. So aloof and fun. Talking about leather and lace! *so amused* "You want to borrow him?" was a very good line. So casual, it makes sense it threw Rodney off.
Of course Rodney has his appealing moments! Hence the wee Japanese chica in "Letters From Pegasus".
PFM! I've heard that before! *feels connected to characters!* Hee. *WAFFy*
"I am so never going to live that down, am I?" is so very similar to Hewlett's "I'll never live that one down!" in his GateWorld interview. *raised eyebrow* Intentional, Mice?
BLACK WIDOW CURSE! RUNNING BETS AGAINST PETE! *ded from luv*
I'd like to point out how much I adore Carse's speaking. The little nuances, tiny dialect changes, and his different vocab is genius. I can hear it in my head. Perfectly pulled off, since everyone in the fandom either ignores it or overdoes it.
I love the change in Carse's music with Rodney's hand. Gotta wonder what the Scot was thinking of. *smirk* And the repeating four notes was the best thing you said about it. Let me get a much better sense of what it sounded like.
Carse is homesick, yet Rodney... I think if he had the choice, he'd never return to Earth. So many opportunities on Atlantis, nothing for him back on Earth. You must address this between them. Maybe in a fic around 'Brotherhood' would work, since they come so close to getting a ZPM.
I know Rodney doesn't, but I fully understand the thing between Erin and Kaz. He may not be able to grasp it yet. I hope he does eventually. To me, it seems so simple. Reading this made me realize that to some it's not common sense.
Yay, Novograd Twin! I love the TNC to death! And another thing abotu Carse's speaking: Gaelic, I imagine, would sound so beautiful. I'm so tempted to pick up a Gaelic dictionary just to read the words. Really spiritual sounding, which fits. Carse strikes me as a spiritual guy in his own deranged way.
Oh crap. Heightmeyer. "Hypersensitive"? *grits teeth* She talks like Siwicki is some damn experiment. I think that's what irritates me most about her. Psychologists should be personal, not like Heightmeyer who seems so distant.
Heh. Rodney's loud. Kudos for him. "a couple of cats in heat" killed me ded. I love him sodamnmuch!
Hate Heightmeyer more every word she says. I get what she's saying, but I think she's wrong.
Shep's curiosity! Knew he'd ask questions. He's such a closet geek, wanting to understand everything. And Carse explainging things to him was well done and very careful.
Shep likes Heightmeyer! NOOO! Shep, you betray me! Seriously though, Shep befriending the shrink? No idea what he's thinking.
Yay, more hand!porn and Rodney jealousy. He's gonna get someone hurt, jumping to conclusions. I can tell.
And that sums it up. My final thoughts:
What's gonna be the focus of the next chapter?
Rodney needs to play the piano in this fic. Seriously. Good old stuff, like Cole Porter. Go see the movie 'De-Lovely' to see what I mean. Not the overly happy stuff, but maybe "Begin the Beguine" (Siwicki or Carse would have to sing. Need good vocal ranges.) or "Just One of Those Things". Though I did have a funny dream about him playing "Hit the Road Jack" by Ray Charles with the Lesbian Puppy Pile doing their harmony thing and Siwicki playing the female side of the duet. It was a GREAT dream.
I'm thinking of making a soundtrack to this fic. Taking each chapter and coming up with a song that fits. Would you be interested at all if I sent the files to you via .zip?
Okay. I've done your bidding and wrote you a DAMN long review. You owe me, my author. My fingers hurt.
Well then my author, you asked for it. Spoiled, aren't you? I give you a few lengthy reviews and I'm expected to for every chapter. Reader abuse, I tell you. ;-D
Dr. Zephyr's Running Thoughts While Reading MSP10: tOB
Ooh, I recognize the quote! It's like the one in MSP5. There's a Second Elegy apprently. But my favorite is the Remote Important Region. It was beautiful enough I wrote it in one of my school notebooks.
I'm surprised there was no going deeper into Ford's 1.11 bitchiness. Seriously, I wanted to smack him on three different occasions. But I suppose, as a fic author, it's hard for you to pass judgement on such a background character.
So glad Shel's around. Carol is so... gah. But I suppose opposition with Atlantis is a main theme of the story.
So glad for the scene with Rodney's breakdown. He did almost kill Carse, even though the situation was twisted. I imagined this kind of response from him; the protectiveness for his lover enforced by trying to stay away from him.
I've figured out a few chapters back that despite his stand-off-ish attitude, he's fiercely devoted to anyone he let's in. As in risk-it-all-when-you-don't-have-to kinda thing. Considering his outside appearances, you wouldn't think so. Such a frightened little man.
Knicked the bone. Ow. I love the correctness of the medical stuff in MSP. In so many fics, people wave it off, but the extra effort in this fic makes a huge difference. I wish more people would do this. After all, they come up with drawn out math problems for Shep in fandom, why not MD babble for Carse?
I'm suddenly wanting someone in SGA/fandom to call Carson "Carse". The episode/fic it happens will officially kick ass. It's an awesome name.
Ah, poor Siwicki has no idea what's she's getting into befriending McKay. Man can be a facade of a sort of twitchy calm (whoa, oxymoron) and snaps in a second to his vunerable inside, all angsty and sad. But I get the impression that what I said about Rodney's protectiveness above applies to Erin too.
Okay, this part I don't get at all. Why would Carse go talk to Teyla? She's nice and all, but... I dunno. Never saw them as close friends. Both are so different.
Ah, Hoff. The key to the Beckett!Angst, right there. I stand by the fact that TPTB will bring back the Wraith killing med later for some kinda of souper weapon thingy.
Aw, Rodney gives massages! You must revisit this at a later time. So sweet. Plus, you see the hand!porn in "Brotherhood"? Man has pianist's hands after all these years.
Like the little thought Carson gave to Rodney's past after waking on the couch. He's careful and I'm glad the whole rape thing wasn't just dropped after they discussed it. Little nuances like this are as good as deeper exposition.
Huh. I won't graphically recall the smut, but it surprised me. Dominant!Rodney after such an event makes so much sense. He has to have Carse nearby and make sure he's alive and in one piece. I agree; at this point, if he loses Carson, it'd kill him. Maybe not physically (never struck me as the suicidal type), but emotionally. Hinthint: Maybe a mini-plot where Rodney plays hero to Carson offworld, without the natural causes? Seperation would be totally like emo!whumpage.
Heh! I adore Siwicki more and more. So aloof and fun. Talking about leather and lace! *so amused* "You want to borrow him?" was a very good line. So casual, it makes sense it threw Rodney off.
Of course Rodney has his appealing moments! Hence the wee Japanese chica in "Letters From Pegasus".
PFM! I've heard that before! *feels connected to characters!* Hee. *WAFFy*
"I am so never going to live that down, am I?" is so very similar to Hewlett's "I'll never live that one down!" in his GateWorld interview. *raised eyebrow* Intentional, Mice?
BLACK WIDOW CURSE! RUNNING BETS AGAINST PETE! *ded from luv*
I'd like to point out how much I adore Carse's speaking. The little nuances, tiny dialect changes, and his different vocab is genius. I can hear it in my head. Perfectly pulled off, since everyone in the fandom either ignores it or overdoes it.
I love the change in Carse's music with Rodney's hand. Gotta wonder what the Scot was thinking of. *smirk* And the repeating four notes was the best thing you said about it. Let me get a much better sense of what it sounded like.
Carse is homesick, yet Rodney... I think if he had the choice, he'd never return to Earth. So many opportunities on Atlantis, nothing for him back on Earth. You must address this between them. Maybe in a fic around 'Brotherhood' would work, since they come so close to getting a ZPM.
I know Rodney doesn't, but I fully understand the thing between Erin and Kaz. He may not be able to grasp it yet. I hope he does eventually. To me, it seems so simple. Reading this made me realize that to some it's not common sense.
Yay, Novograd Twin! I love the TNC to death! And another thing abotu Carse's speaking: Gaelic, I imagine, would sound so beautiful. I'm so tempted to pick up a Gaelic dictionary just to read the words. Really spiritual sounding, which fits. Carse strikes me as a spiritual guy in his own deranged way.
Oh crap. Heightmeyer. "Hypersensitive"? *grits teeth* She talks like Siwicki is some damn experiment. I think that's what irritates me most about her. Psychologists should be personal, not like Heightmeyer who seems so distant.
Heh. Rodney's loud. Kudos for him. "a couple of cats in heat" killed me ded. I love him sodamnmuch!
Hate Heightmeyer more every word she says. I get what she's saying, but I think she's wrong.
Shep's curiosity! Knew he'd ask questions. He's such a closet geek, wanting to understand everything. And Carse explainging things to him was well done and very careful.
Shep likes Heightmeyer! NOOO! Shep, you betray me! Seriously though, Shep befriending the shrink? No idea what he's thinking.
Yay, more hand!porn and Rodney jealousy. He's gonna get someone hurt, jumping to conclusions. I can tell.
And that sums it up. My final thoughts:
What's gonna be the focus of the next chapter?
Rodney needs to play the piano in this fic. Seriously. Good old stuff, like Cole Porter. Go see the movie 'De-Lovely' to see what I mean. Not the overly happy stuff, but maybe "Begin the Beguine" (Siwicki or Carse would have to sing. Need good vocal ranges.) or "Just One of Those Things". Though I did have a funny dream about him playing "Hit the Road Jack" by Ray Charles with the Lesbian Puppy Pile doing their harmony thing and Siwicki playing the female side of the duet. It was a GREAT dream.
I'm thinking of making a soundtrack to this fic. Taking each chapter and coming up with a song that fits. Would you be interested at all if I sent the files to you via .zip?
Okay. I've done your bidding and wrote you a DAMN long review. You owe me, my author. My fingers hurt.
part 1
Date: 2005-01-17 11:27 am (UTC)Yep, there is actually an entire book of Duino Elegies -- I believe there were ten total, plus a few unfinished/fragmented ones. Rilke is an astonishing poet, and Stephen Mitchell's translations are heartbreakingly beautiful. I think you might enjoy it very much.
I think that after Carson got through the whole ordeal, he was just a lot more relieved to still be alive than he was pissed at Ford. That, and having to deal with Rodney's angst-o-rama was taking up a wee bit of his time ;) Rodney's version of logic sometimes leaves a bit to be desired, as when he tried pushing Carson away to 'protect' him -- but his heart really is in the right place. He just needs a hell of a lot of practice to get good at this relationship thing. And yes, I think he is fiercely protective. It's something I do want to explore in a later story.
Carson went to Teyla because she had that same experience with him. She was in the hallway too -- she was the other person Rodney nearly fried. He wanted to know what she thought about it, how she was reacting. I think he sees her as being a pretty level-headed sort, and a good place for a reality check on what he was feeling and his own fears.
I won't be dropping the incidents in Rodney's past. Stuff like that never really gets "dropped" from a life. It just gets either buried or dealt with. Rodney and Carson are in the 'tentatively trying to deal with it' stage. This doesn't mean that it runs either of their lives, but it's there and a conscious undertone to their relationship. And yes, Carson is a careful man by nature. You can really see that in his character in canon. He honestly doesn't seem to like things that are unpredictable. He prefers to be prepared, and to work on things in a methodical way. It's probably a lot of what makes him a good geneticist.
I tried using "Carse" as a nickname in my first version of MSP1, but a lot of folks didn't like it. I may slowly introduce it later ;)
Yeah, the friendship between Siwicki, Rodney and Carson is an interesting one to me. I think Rodney and Siwicki probably have more in common than either of them realize. We haven't seen a lot of her yet, but we'll be seeing more in later stories. She probably won't be in the next one, or if she is, it'll just be in passing. This isn't a story about her, after all -- it's about Rodney and Carson.
I *adored* the Japanese scientist in Letters!!!! I want to give her a name and put her in my stories. Such great potential! I'd love to see her talking to others on the mission, and attempting in her Japanese way to attract her most adored lead scientist. *chuckles evilly* I don't think she likes the idea that he's with Carson and not her, poor dear. Not in a homophobic way so much as just personal envy that Carson has what she wants...
For the most part, I agree that I don't think Rodney would really want to go back to Earth permanently, given the choice. Sure, Atlantis is dangerous and the Pegasus galaxy has him quaking in his boots, but he's the top dog here and he really likes that. Much as he lusts after Sam and is still carrying a torch for her, he's the undisputed authority on Things Scientific and that has got to appeal to his massive ego.
(cont in next post)
part 2
Date: 2005-01-17 11:27 am (UTC)I'm glad you get/appreciate the thing between Siwicki and Osbourne/Zelenka. I know a lot of folks have expressed a certain puzzlement, but to be honest, I know a lot of folks in my life who are polyamorous (they indulge in open and generally honest/workable multiple relationships). It's a reality in my social life, though I know that it's a little strange to a lot of other folks. I think Rodney's intelligent enough to get it eventually, though whether he sees himself as being able to do anything of the sort is an open question. Open relationships are actually extremely common in the queer community, moreso than monogamy, in my experience. Even the deeply committed couples I know have other lovers, particularly the kinkier couples. And Geoff is possibly a wee bit kinky himself (his happy sigh at the mention of leather was a bit of a giveaway...)
The Gaelic language sounds much different than it looks on paper to an English speaker. I would highly recommend listening to some Gaelic music from Scotland to get a feel for it. The first two cd's by a group called Mouth Music are really good for modern Gaelic music. More traditional stuff includes artists like Finlay MacNeill, Wicked Celts, or Keltoi (those last two are Seattle-area groups deeply involved with the Gaelic language movement here). It really is beautiful stuff.
Heightmeyer's not as evil as she comes across, though Siwicki certainly doesn't like her much. We'll find out more about what's going on with those two in later stories, a little at a time. Shep was more curious about why Heightmeyer was doing what she did than actively attempting to befriend her. And if the Orpheus Box is in the psych department, cooperating with Heightmeyer is the only way he'll get to hear his music.
The next story is going to deal with Gaul's death in The Defiant One, and some fun stuff with the Thursday Night Crew as a lighter remedy to all the Rodneyangst over Gaul's suicide. Look for a new TNC member, and some fun with Peter Grodin ;)
I would be delighted and honored to hear a soundtrack for MSP from you! I can do .zip files :)
Thanks again for the time and effort you've put into this feedback. It's dearly adored and greatly appreciated.