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luciazephyrTitle: A Fundamentally Incorrect Equation - A Tribute to Douglas Adams
Author: Luce
Fandom: Numb3rs
Warning: Number of H2G2 references - a lot. Number of non-H2G2 references - two, maybe three.
Summary: Passing by Professor Charles Eppes class on May 25th reveled a strange sight.
Blame goes to: New friend,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hobbit_feet.
The first time he saw it, Larry mused, it hadn't even registered to his oft-preoccupied mind. Perhaps his subconsious noted it, deeming it too minor to tell the rest of his mind when it was obstinately trying to tear Charlie from his work. Redefining how science viewed the cosmos was difficult when your human atomic calculator was focussed on his own train of thought. No, it took a bit more than one glance at the dark chalkboard to realize something was different.
But after about twenty minutes of reasoning and nearly five of near-begging, the neglected subconsious had enough of sitting on its observation and practically yelled out for the rest of the brain to look at the damn chalkboard!
Usually, the sudden lack of the rambling, familiar voice wouldn't faze Charlie. It was all white noise in the first place. Today though, he was grinning. It was the sort of grin that reminded you of anologies about cats and canaries.
On the chalkboard was an equation, unsurprisingly. It was marked in large, messy writing and singled-out, away from the the rest of Charlie's work by having a box drawn around it. That wasn't what was unusual; Charlie often seperated work that way.
After staring long and hard at The Equation--not a particularly difficult one, hardly even junior high school level--Larry rubbed his eyes, as if that would aliviate the peculiarity of it all.
"Charles." Larry said in his most sardonic tone (he had many, but this one was reserved for Charlie and a few of the more irritating undergrads) just as Charlies darted to another end of the board, apparently satisfied with the answer he had enough to incorporate it into the smaller, more elegant equation to the right side of the board. The only sign that he had heard was a distracted hum and a bob of his curly hair. Luckily, Larry was well-versed in the language of absentminded prodigies and expertly translated this to "I'm listening even though it appears that I am more focussed on this equation. Actually, I probably am, but I can multitask. Fire away."
"I was just-- I mean, as a brillant mathematician, you of course know you basic, grade five multiplication tables, right?" Larry tried to continue, but couldn't tear his eyes from The Equation. He shook his head as he realized this was not just crazy, but rapidly closing in on criminally insane with multiple personality disorder. Not that Larry was a psychologist, but he had seen 'Identity' a few times. Any movie with Cusack tended to be decent.
"Been doing grade five math since I could walk." Charlie commented, looking over his shoulder, grin gone so he once again had his accustomary look of doe-eyed innocence.
"Yes, yes, Alan's said so numerous times." Larry walked over to Charlie resolutely and grabbed the younger man's sleeve. He tugged the amused math genius to the left, to The Equation. "Then what," he demaned, waving incredulously at the figures, "is that?"
Charlie cocked his head to the side and looked with detached interest. "A math solution."
"Charles," Larry's voice rose an octave, "six by nine is not forty-two!"
Charlie turned to face Larry and placed his hands on the physist's shoulders. "I'm not sure you know this, Larry, but today is May 25th."
"Is that supposed to make you seem more in your right mind now? May 25th, what does that mean?"
"That there is something fundamentally wrong with the universe." Charlie replied with a saint's patience.
"You've lost me, Charles."
"The desk, Larry."
On the disorganized desk of Charlie Eppes was a cleared area Larry hadn't noticed before. In that small space was a folded up, more than slightly faded black towel. On it was a battered blue book, laying there almost reverently. Larry circled to the front of the desk and examined the volume.
"'Douglas Adam's Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide Omnibus.'"
Charlie dusted chalk dust off his hands casually before saying, "You sass that hoopy Douglas Adams?"
Larry just stared at Charlie, suspecting he couldn't be more confused unless Charlie climbed onto the desk and began performing the "Time Warp". Thankfully for Larry's own sanity, he didn't. Charlie laughed softly at the look. "Today is Towel Day."
"Okay. I am leaving now to find a mental home to commit you too. I'm certain your brother knows a few."
A hand on his arm stopped his exit. "No, no! This has a perfectly understandably explanation, I promise. Wait a minute." He guided the physist to his desk chair before picking up the blue book and tapping it meaningfully. "It's just like you and the ten million scientists you've memorized that you reference all the time. Instead, this an author and not a breakthrough scientist." Charlie flipped open the book and started turning to the beginning. "Adams wrote the most irreverent, lunatic story in literature: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."
And he told him; Charlie briefly explained the incredibly stupid catastrophe of Earth's demolition, Ford rescuing his perfectly normal if a little baffled friend Arthur, the Heart of Gold, Zaphod's forgotten/remembered mission, the legacy of Deep Thought, and the hyper-intellegent pan-demensional mice Frankie and Benjy. He touched on the psychological power of the towel, what the Babel Fish did to the God arguement, the Infinite Improbabability Drive, and Marvin the Terminally Depressed Android.
"And that's just the first book." Charlie finished brightly, smiling one of his patented million-watt smiles.
Larry was silent for a long time, trying to absorb all the information. Understanding the Guide from only a second-hand account was ludicrious, as all fans know.
"So," he attemtped a while later, as Charlie worked diligently on his equation, "the answer to everything is forty-two?"
"No. The Answer to the Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is forty-two." Charlie corrected chrisply. "Who knows what Deep Thought would have said to the Question of Just Everything." And yes, you could hear the capitalization in his voice.
"Oh, right. My mistake." Larry said in an eerily calm voice. It made Charlie pause and look worriedly at him for a second before smiling again, still a million-watts.
"You'll get over the shock soon. Almost like getting your brain smashed out of your skull by a slice of lemon wrapped around a gold brick."
Larry didn't take the effort to answer that, instead burying his head in his hands. A beat later, a heavy weight dropped into his lap. He looked down at the Omnibus, feeling a dreamy loss of control on what happened to him.
"Read it. Everything will become clear."
"I should be focusing on the nature of the universe."
"If we ever find out the universe's purpose, it'll just become something even more bizarre and inexplicable. Unless it already has."
"I'm not getting out of this, am I?"
Charlie sat on the desk and squeezed Larry's shoulder. "I apologize for the inconvenience."
~Fin/Owari/End~
*grins like an idiot*
ETA: If someone would like to beta this, please do. I'm sure I have dozens of grammatical mistakes.
Author: Luce
Fandom: Numb3rs
Warning: Number of H2G2 references - a lot. Number of non-H2G2 references - two, maybe three.
Summary: Passing by Professor Charles Eppes class on May 25th reveled a strange sight.
Blame goes to: New friend,
hobbit_feet.The first time he saw it, Larry mused, it hadn't even registered to his oft-preoccupied mind. Perhaps his subconsious noted it, deeming it too minor to tell the rest of his mind when it was obstinately trying to tear Charlie from his work. Redefining how science viewed the cosmos was difficult when your human atomic calculator was focussed on his own train of thought. No, it took a bit more than one glance at the dark chalkboard to realize something was different.
But after about twenty minutes of reasoning and nearly five of near-begging, the neglected subconsious had enough of sitting on its observation and practically yelled out for the rest of the brain to look at the damn chalkboard!
Usually, the sudden lack of the rambling, familiar voice wouldn't faze Charlie. It was all white noise in the first place. Today though, he was grinning. It was the sort of grin that reminded you of anologies about cats and canaries.
On the chalkboard was an equation, unsurprisingly. It was marked in large, messy writing and singled-out, away from the the rest of Charlie's work by having a box drawn around it. That wasn't what was unusual; Charlie often seperated work that way.
After staring long and hard at The Equation--not a particularly difficult one, hardly even junior high school level--Larry rubbed his eyes, as if that would aliviate the peculiarity of it all.
"Charles." Larry said in his most sardonic tone (he had many, but this one was reserved for Charlie and a few of the more irritating undergrads) just as Charlies darted to another end of the board, apparently satisfied with the answer he had enough to incorporate it into the smaller, more elegant equation to the right side of the board. The only sign that he had heard was a distracted hum and a bob of his curly hair. Luckily, Larry was well-versed in the language of absentminded prodigies and expertly translated this to "I'm listening even though it appears that I am more focussed on this equation. Actually, I probably am, but I can multitask. Fire away."
"I was just-- I mean, as a brillant mathematician, you of course know you basic, grade five multiplication tables, right?" Larry tried to continue, but couldn't tear his eyes from The Equation. He shook his head as he realized this was not just crazy, but rapidly closing in on criminally insane with multiple personality disorder. Not that Larry was a psychologist, but he had seen 'Identity' a few times. Any movie with Cusack tended to be decent.
"Been doing grade five math since I could walk." Charlie commented, looking over his shoulder, grin gone so he once again had his accustomary look of doe-eyed innocence.
"Yes, yes, Alan's said so numerous times." Larry walked over to Charlie resolutely and grabbed the younger man's sleeve. He tugged the amused math genius to the left, to The Equation. "Then what," he demaned, waving incredulously at the figures, "is that?"
Charlie cocked his head to the side and looked with detached interest. "A math solution."
"Charles," Larry's voice rose an octave, "six by nine is not forty-two!"
Charlie turned to face Larry and placed his hands on the physist's shoulders. "I'm not sure you know this, Larry, but today is May 25th."
"Is that supposed to make you seem more in your right mind now? May 25th, what does that mean?"
"That there is something fundamentally wrong with the universe." Charlie replied with a saint's patience.
"You've lost me, Charles."
"The desk, Larry."
On the disorganized desk of Charlie Eppes was a cleared area Larry hadn't noticed before. In that small space was a folded up, more than slightly faded black towel. On it was a battered blue book, laying there almost reverently. Larry circled to the front of the desk and examined the volume.
"'Douglas Adam's Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide Omnibus.'"
Charlie dusted chalk dust off his hands casually before saying, "You sass that hoopy Douglas Adams?"
Larry just stared at Charlie, suspecting he couldn't be more confused unless Charlie climbed onto the desk and began performing the "Time Warp". Thankfully for Larry's own sanity, he didn't. Charlie laughed softly at the look. "Today is Towel Day."
"Okay. I am leaving now to find a mental home to commit you too. I'm certain your brother knows a few."
A hand on his arm stopped his exit. "No, no! This has a perfectly understandably explanation, I promise. Wait a minute." He guided the physist to his desk chair before picking up the blue book and tapping it meaningfully. "It's just like you and the ten million scientists you've memorized that you reference all the time. Instead, this an author and not a breakthrough scientist." Charlie flipped open the book and started turning to the beginning. "Adams wrote the most irreverent, lunatic story in literature: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."
And he told him; Charlie briefly explained the incredibly stupid catastrophe of Earth's demolition, Ford rescuing his perfectly normal if a little baffled friend Arthur, the Heart of Gold, Zaphod's forgotten/remembered mission, the legacy of Deep Thought, and the hyper-intellegent pan-demensional mice Frankie and Benjy. He touched on the psychological power of the towel, what the Babel Fish did to the God arguement, the Infinite Improbabability Drive, and Marvin the Terminally Depressed Android.
"And that's just the first book." Charlie finished brightly, smiling one of his patented million-watt smiles.
Larry was silent for a long time, trying to absorb all the information. Understanding the Guide from only a second-hand account was ludicrious, as all fans know.
"So," he attemtped a while later, as Charlie worked diligently on his equation, "the answer to everything is forty-two?"
"No. The Answer to the Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is forty-two." Charlie corrected chrisply. "Who knows what Deep Thought would have said to the Question of Just Everything." And yes, you could hear the capitalization in his voice.
"Oh, right. My mistake." Larry said in an eerily calm voice. It made Charlie pause and look worriedly at him for a second before smiling again, still a million-watts.
"You'll get over the shock soon. Almost like getting your brain smashed out of your skull by a slice of lemon wrapped around a gold brick."
Larry didn't take the effort to answer that, instead burying his head in his hands. A beat later, a heavy weight dropped into his lap. He looked down at the Omnibus, feeling a dreamy loss of control on what happened to him.
"Read it. Everything will become clear."
"I should be focusing on the nature of the universe."
"If we ever find out the universe's purpose, it'll just become something even more bizarre and inexplicable. Unless it already has."
"I'm not getting out of this, am I?"
Charlie sat on the desk and squeezed Larry's shoulder. "I apologize for the inconvenience."
~Fin/Owari/End~
*grins like an idiot*
ETA: If someone would like to beta this, please do. I'm sure I have dozens of grammatical mistakes.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-26 08:56 am (UTC)"You'll get over the shock soon. Almost like getting your brain smashed out of your skull by a slice of lemon wrapped around a gold brick."
*giggles*
Also, I love Larry having to do a double take at the equation and I love him being well versed in the language of absent minded prodigies.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-26 11:23 am (UTC)Larry did take the effort to answer that, instead burying his head in his hands.
Should that be "didn't take the effort..."?
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-26 02:42 pm (UTC)I've only just started in the fandom and already adore it. I wuv geeks.