yeah, it woulda been, coulda been worse than you would ever know

[luciazephyr]

the dashboard melted but we still have the radio
(the dashboard melted but we ran it good, we ran it good)
hardwired to conceive so much we had to stow it
even needs have needs, tiny giants make tinier giants
don't wear eyelids so I don't miss the last laugh of the show
(the dashboard melted but we still have the-)
well, we coulda been, shoulda been worse than you would ever know
well, you told me about nowhere- well, it sounds like someplace I'd like to go
now here we go
well, we schemed and we schemed but we'd always blow it
we've yet to crash but we still might as well tow it

saying, "see, it wasn't quite as bad as
it woulda been, coulda been worse than you would ever know"

I suppose it'd be wise to get ready to bid farewell to you all. Just in case.

I was given an ultimatum. I have a week to be hired or I'll be forced to sell many of my possessions (including my 360 and my laptopl) and move to Florida. As in, in two weeks, I'm gone.

I don't know if I'll be able to stay in contact once I'm there. I don't know what my resources will be but for my grandmum's sofabed. There is a lot of I Don't Know at the moment.

I... As much as I insist to my RP buddies that I am nothing like my character, there is one aspect in which we are identical. We both love very easily. And I do love all of you who've gifted me with your time and attention, advice and laughter. Every second that one of you gave me cause to think of something other than my shitty situation was like gifting a starved man with ambrosia, and I thank you all for it.

It's my only hope that I don't lose you all. I am a weak person at my core and rely on my connections to others to survive. Losing my home and my loved ones all at once will utterly destroy me- I know this, and am already steeling myself for it, overdosing myself on musical hope and trying to shut of that urge to be with and talk with people. I can only pray to non-existent gods that it will be an unneeded precautions, but I've never been a person to be considered lucky.

It's been a complete and total dream to know you all. Don't underestimate how much joy you can grant a person.

-Lucy

Comments

[sarshin.livejournal.com]

what


what
i

what

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

Probably my exactly thoughts when Mum told me about this.

[sarshin.livejournal.com]

get to job hunting D8 like every single place that exists

[goodwith-wood.livejournal.com]

Oh no..hun. Just..let us all know if there is anything we can do for you. We love you lots and lots. ♥

[make-a-move.livejournal.com]

I hope it all works out for you, darling.

[tarastara.livejournal.com]

Oh god, talk about stressbomb. BEST BEST BEST OF LUCK.

[clooney.livejournal.com]

Wow. Good luck, Lucy. ♥

[th-esaurus.livejournal.com]

The best for whatever happens. I just wish you the best <3

[darkhawkhealer.livejournal.com]

Have you thought about hotels or restaurants? I mean, dishwashing or bussing or being a host? How about blockbuster or target? Have you looked on Craigslist to see who's hiring?

*hugs tight*

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

I've looked for a year in all those places. I have an interview at 2 tomorrow at McDs, the first ever, s-so maybe? I'm not optimistic.

[darkhawkhealer.livejournal.com]

You have to be! People who are in charge of hiring can sniff out hesitation like freaking BLOODHOUNDS.

You are awesome, and amazing, and smart and capable and completely worth more than you think.

There are people here who adore you for everything you are and everything you will be -- so go out there and tell those people exactly why you'd be an asset to ANYONE who hires you.

I'm thinking good thoughts for you.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

I... god, thank you. I have no idea what being known a little on the internet nets be in RL, but I appreciate your saying that.

[fofomazuzu.livejournal.com]

McD will hire anyone with a heartbeat. Just ask 3/4 of the high school.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

Well, no offense duder, but for the last year they haven't even given me a call-back, so obviously not anyone. 8|

[fofomazuzu.livejournal.com]

Oh, I just thought you were trying to stay away from McD's and this was your first time trying.

[polaris-starz.livejournal.com]

I hope it doesn't come to that, but if it does, I will be thinking of you and hoping things work out. Good luck-- and for what it's worth, I think you're smart, talented, and deserve far better than what life's thrown at you.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

Deserving better is an oddly prevalent sentiment I'm not sure what to do with, but thank you. I appreciate all this.

[thene]

what the FUCK your mother is CRAZY.

but ffs, whatever happens you will be sorely missed and dearly remembered and this will be recced forever.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

Everyone seems to think so, but not really... This is well-deserved, albeit sudden.

I'm glad. I didn't think anyone cared too much for that fic. Being able to contribute, even a little bit, makes me pathetically happy. ♥

[thene]

DON'T INTERNALISE THE BATSHIT. I mean, what the hell good is Florida for?

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

Florida has grandmum, who can probably get me a job with the catering company she works for. I consider Florida the true Hellmouth of the world (especially the Miami-Dade/Broward area where I will be living), but it's work, and this is something outside my control.

[free-reverie.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'll be crossing my fingers and sending every bit of luck I can in your direction.

♥

[sarken.livejournal.com]

What? That's terrible. *sends hugs*

If this happens, I'm sure many of us will still be here when you return. And you will return someday -- things have to improve at some point. They have to. *hugs again*

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

I truly appreciate that and hope you're right.

[bessemerprocess.livejournal.com]

I know this is sort of a weird question, but if you're anywhere near Warrensburg, MO I'll have my ppls look out for any sort of job for you.

Also, my aunts are in FL, so if you get really desperate, let me know, and I will send them to rescue you, or at least buy you some ice cream, seriously.

::hugs::

[codecmoments.livejournal.com]

I.... live in one of the two small towns situated between Sedalia and Warrensburg. 8O

I've been looking for a year and just got my first call back for an interview, so yeah any help would be good.

[bessemerprocess.livejournal.com]

My best friend is from Warrensburg and her dad and grandparents still live there. I'm sending her dad an email to see if he has any thoughts or has heard of any openings. I don't know if he'll know of anything, but it can't hurt.


ETA: have sent email, will see if he has an ideas. Crossing my fingers for you.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

Thank you thank you. I really, really appreciate it.

[silver11016.livejournal.com]

I live in Orlando, honey. My phone number is 407.860.5037. You need ANYTHING you call me. I mean that.

I love you sweetie. Thank you for your years of friendship. You and the rest of the T2M Clan pulled me through a dark time, and I only hope I can grant you the same.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

I hope I don't have to resort to going to Florida but if I do.... expect a call from me, to let you know, ta?

Thank you.

[silver11016.livejournal.com]

Ok. And remember, if anything bad happens to you down south, I will wire you the forty bucks to Amtrak your ass up to Orlando where I can protect you from the evils of this mosquito-ridden hellhole.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

Heh. Sounds amazing to me, but you'll have to stop me from egging EA while I'm there.

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

Whatever happens to you, be careful, be safe, and know that somewhere (in the internet and irl), someone is thinking of you.

*hug*

[heidi-wiggin.livejournal.com]

OH my dear.
sending you love and positive thoughts!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_dahne_/]

That's scary., and a pretty crazy ultimatum. Sometimes, though, bad times are a boost you need. Best of luck.

[moonlitsiren.livejournal.com]

I know that I haven't known you for very long, but I'm really sorry to hear about this. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you to find a job. And (if worst comes to worst, I suppose)if you don't mind me asking, what part of Florida would you have to move to? I know that these are hard times for everyone, especially in finding a job, and I wouldn't mind making a few calls to hook you up with something.

Best of luck. ♥

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

If you know the area, it's North Lauderdale, around Broward-Miami-Dade? I really hope that it doesn't come to me moving there because I despise the state (sans the Keys), but... if it does, any help would be appreciated.

[daniela-lynx.livejournal.com]

I wish you the best of lucks. *Sends a hug*

Have you tried apping at call-centres? It's not that hard to get in those, I've worked in one and the pay is decent, though they will overwork you.