FIC: Varying Degrees of Con-Artistry

[luciazephyr]

Title: Varying Degrees of Con-Artistry (Or: Six things no one knew about Shawn Spencer, and one thing he didn't know about himself)
Author: Lucia Zephyr (lucia_tanaka)
Fandom: Psych
Genre: Character study, drama
Rating: PG-13 for slash and occasional darkfic-vibes

Summary: Of pianos, first kisses, trip-ups, semantics, aspirin, facades, and mental slight of hand. Seven glances into the mind of Shawn Spencer.

Author Notes: I know, I know, I know. I said I wouldn't write another "five ways" thingie, but this is COMPLETELY Ashley/lunarwolfik's fault. Damn her.
This fic is essentially my view of Shawn Spencer, who is a really screwed up guy in my head. Under the cut is much made-up history, blink-and-you-miss-'em characterizations, and a bunch of stuff that'll be completely jossed in January. Enjoy!


1.

Shawn can play three instruments. One doesn't count because every self-respecting teenager in Shawn's day picked up the guitar. Hendrix always floats onto the radio again every couple years.

Shawn likes playing soft music on his guitar- the same he bought with his first paycheck when he was sixteen. Years later, he brought it with him when he went to stay with his mother after the separation. She loved him for it. They'd sit in the living room and she'd listen. Mom would curl up in the armchair, her hands wrapped around a thick mug of spicy tea, and Shawn would stretch out on the futon. He played her Jack Johnson, because you didn't need any accompaniment for his music, playing the notes from memory. He never needed music sheets to make Mom smile with "Flake", to get her to sing, though the chorus always made her cry the second time around. "Catharsis, Shawnie," she'd always say when he stopped, not wanting to see her like this. "It's a good thing."

Shawn learned drums because Gus got the music kick a bit late and suddenly realized he was meant for musical greatness. Shawn couldn't say no, so he played along and taught Gus to play guitar while he picked up drums. Gus burned out on songwriting before he worked up to the intermediate guitar course. Shawn never left the drums behind- his mind never left anything behind- and he liked to make noise after going out on the town and coming home alone.

Shawn latched onto the piano the most though. It was easy and smooth and made everyone look at him differently. You can be the cookie-cutter class clown until you played piano in Mr. Fillion's music elective class. The piano was special, like a dear friend who had even more far-fetched dreams and aspirations than Shawn did. The piano could be classical and refined, then flip over and be rock and roll. She stood for understanding and not asking more than he wanted to give. She wasn't choosy in what he did.

Shawn's father didn't see the point. Before Shawn left, he leaned on the piano while Shawn tapped out a simple beat he made up in his head, said, "there's no point unless you plan to be a musician, Shawn. Which you won't be. No son of mine it going to throw all his lessons away to be a lounge singer." Shawn just nodded and kept quiet.

He still owned his instruments. The guitar was against the wall in his room. The drums were set out as a weird kind of decoration to the main room. Against the far wall, though, was the piano. She was covered with a long, brown cloth, masking her to be almost like fancy furniture, but Shawn could toss the cloth up and out of the way in a moment. When the pull of his mind got too hard, trying to solve too many cases, trying to follow Dad's training, she was ready for him, asking only for what he wanted to give. The sheet music of Ben Fold's "Selfless, Cold, and Composed" was always open and waiting behind Shawn's eyelids. This was his, something he learned himself, something Dad had nothing to do with. He needed to have something he found himself, not given to him.


2.

Strictly speaking, Shawn's first kiss was Betty Saunders behind the stands at the high school football team's homecoming game. She was sixteen and he was a month away from it and she was nervous about her date with the full-back next Friday. She pulled Shawn aside and asked for advice. Shawn was clueless. Girls liked him, sure, but not enough that he has any real experience. They both laughed about their own troubles and Betty offered Shawn a way they could both learn a thing or two, her eyes wide, making Shawn think they were the most beautiful color green he'd ever seen.

The kiss was methodical and clinical and the taste of the lipstick Betty wore seemed to stay in his mouth for a week, making him run his tongue against his teeth, trying to get rid of it.

A few months after that disaster, Shawn was waiting for Gus's study club to let out. He had a lot of time and was willing to waste it, not wanting to go home and deal with Dad. There he met Gregory Malozzi when he tripped over Shawn's backpack after the Science Olympiad meeting let out. Greg had a smooth, low voice, a smile so blinding that it rivaled Shawn's own, and was the biggest science geek in the school.

He was also extremely friendly and Shawn found himself walking alongside Greg as they went down the road to 31 Flavors. Greg bought them both banana shakes and tried to explain the concept of white holes to Shawn. He used his hands a lot, making complicated gestures and painting diagrams in the air so complex, Shawn almost understood what Greg was so excited about. That it was so powerful and awesome, but completely impossible according to what Greg called "respectable physics". When Greg asked if he was making "a mole of sense", Shawn grinned and said yes, he was. Greg walked Shawn back to the school and asked if he'd be loitering around again tomorrow around the same time. Shawn didn't have to, could have gone off to Gus's house to hang out, but said he'd be there. Greg's face lit up with a smile.

They had shakes for two weeks, their talks getting more involved and their walks getting longer as they searched out private, scenic routes. Greg always walked Shawn home if they got out of the shake shop past five, babbling on about theories and physics and philosophy. Shawn learned more from Greg than he had from all his science teachers in his entire educational history.

One day, about a month after they first met, Greg walked Shawn home, using the longest way they knew, walking through the trees, secluded and away from the streets and cars and people. Greg was talking about how atoms shouldn't work. "The center is made of positively charged particles, the electrons flying around are negatively charged, so why the hell doesn't the whole thing collapse on itself?"

"That opposites attract thingie?"

"Yes, yes, exactly."

Greg laughed a bit too loud, Shawn smiled a bit too much, and then Greg went quiet, staring at Shawn. Shawn felt his ears turn red when he noticed how amazingly clear and blue Greg's eyes were before he was pressed gently into a tree and then they were kissing.

Shawn's favorite color, even years later, was that indescribable light blue. Whenever he thinks of his first kiss, he smiles and thinks of the cool taste of banana, not the impersonal taste of wax.


3.

Shawn could fool anyone. There was never anyone he came across that he couldn't charm into believing every word that came out of his mouth. It was a gift that Shawn utilized every day of his life. Then Shawn walked into the interrogation room of the Santa Barbara Police Department and made one giant screw-up.

Lassiter had the dark hair and clean features Greg had. Greg had meant loosening up, not worrying about keeping track of his lies, not having to lie at all. Lassiter had those goddamn icy blue eyes.

If it hadn't been for that subconscious mental connection, he'd have left Lassiter in the dark from their first meeting. Their current dance around each other would never have happened. Shawn's life would certainly have been a lot easier too. But, nevertheless, Shawn's mind whispered "relax" at him and it was all the accomplished detective needed to get irreversibly suspicious.

But Shawn had a knack for turning a bad situation good. Within two months of PD work, Shawn had a mental list of the top ten ways to drive Detective Lassiter insane. In Shawn's mind, Lassiter didn't stand for what Greg had, but something completely different and just as necessary. Shawn knew how to get Lassiter angry and combative in minutes because he liked the man best that way.

Lassiter meant hidden strengths that Shawn sometimes considered comparable to his own. He meant a snapping reply, having to think twice as fast so as not to slip up, and a rough slam into the wall when Shawn just wasn't fast enough.

Shawn liked how sharp and jaded Lassiter was. It was a nice change- not always being the one with all the power.


4.

Gus always called Shawn his best friend. Shawn always called Gus the brother he never had.

People lie to their siblings all the time. They never lie to their best friends.


5.

Shawn started getting headaches at fourteen. Migraines were hereditary on his Dad's side, so Mom worried about him whenever he left the living room to lay down in his room with the curtains closed and the lights off. It didn't help that his parents yelled at each other about it, the loud arguments making the throbbing pain behind his eyes intensify.

After Shawn had to stay home from school because of the pain, Mom went out to the store and bought a bottle of aspirin, a fifty-tablet container. It took three to handle it, and Shawn went through the first batch in just over three months. From then on, Mom bought the large hundred-tablet jugs, keeping them in the bedside table by Shawn's bed for whenever he needed it.

Over fifteen years later, Shawn still used the same brand of aspirin. He'd taken so many, his immunity to the meds had increased drastically.

Whenever Shawn solved a case for the SBPD and started to feel thankful for his training, he remembered that it now took seven or more aspirins to take the edge off a headache and promptly fell back to hating his father.


6.

Where Lassiter was just too sharp to be tricked, Juliet wasn't. She was young, new, and still had that just-out-of-the-Academy glow. She believed in the good of people and Shawn noticed it right away, before he even knew who she was.

Juliet was easy. Shawn knew how to smile and where to pout and the reasons Juliet needed to let him have free reign. It was so simple, it didn't take thought. After, she always smiled and said thank you. Shawn would crack a joke while just dying to say, "you're a cop, act like it".

Shawn almost felt guilty about it. She was a rookie and the PD knew it. They put her with their most seasoned detective for a reason, after all. But with Shawn happily driving Lassiter up the wall, it left Juliet unprotected and open. If the Chief knew the ways Juliet broke protocol, she'd be in a huge amount of trouble.

The more it happened, the more Shawn found it harder to smile and flirt with Juliet. He needed her for information, certainly, but she was slowly getting easier to manipulate. It wasn't supposed to work that way. She was supposed to watch Lassiter and learn, for god's sake, not become this starry-eyed girl who thought Shawn was a prophet of case solutions.

It was hard to play against people when there was no competition.


7.

Shawn was on his bike, messing with his helmet outside the SBPD when Lassiter walked over to him. He put one hand on the bike's handlebars, drawing Shawn's gaze up.

Shawn was growing to hate that look on Lassiter's face. Things were changing. Shawn didn't live just to drive Lassiter insane anymore. Lassiter didn't try to fight with Shawn at every step anymore. The only person who Shawn had even been in any sort of relationship with for more than a month was Gus, and even that fell apart. Gus got a spectacular offer from his pharmaceutical company. They'd start training him for higher work. Gus was in college in Southern Cali now.

So what the hell was he still doing here?

Lassiter's hand slid bonelessly off the bike and into his pants pocket. "You shouldn't be driving after that."

Shawn looked away, leaning forward to examine the gauges of his bike. He wasn't going to talk about this to Lassiter. It was normal for a person to be shaken up. Shawn got in position to take off.

"Spencer." Both of Lassiter's hands gripped the handlebars of Shawn's bike. Shawn's hands were already there and Lassiter's pressed over the backs of Shawn's unabashedly. "I should have-"

"Don't, Lassiter," Shawn whispered back, trying not to think of how the criminal managed to break free of the interrogation room guards to launch himself at Shawn. O'Reilly, the suspected (and probable) murderer used the chain of his cuffs against Shawn's neck to get leverage. O'Reilly had been taller and Shawn had to stand on his toes to avoid choking.

"I had the shot earlier, I could have-"

"Stop it." Shawn demanded and Lassiter's voice dropped instantly. He knew Lassiter had the shot. Shawn knew how to triangulate shots. He also knew that if Lassiter had pulled a headshot and killed O'Reilly, Shawn would have punched him. They'd worked for a week just to track the suspect down. To lose him before a proper questioning would have been worse than a few minutes of cut-off air and a new bruise on his neck.

God, what was he doing here?

Lassiter had that look, that dangerous set to his face that was far more risky than the sharp, angry one he used to always wear around Shawn. This was still confrontational, but not like it used to be. It was calm and collected. Shawn wasn't good at that.

By looking away from his face, Shawn's eyes settled uneasily on Lassiter's hand over his. It wasn't much better.

"Don't drive home."

It wasn't commanding or harsh. It was quiet and almost lost to the breeze against Shawn's ears. And when the pressure against his hands lessened just enough for him to be able to pull away, Shawn squeezed his eyes shut. Things were too different now. It was easier when it was all instinctual, without thought. Now Lassiter kept giving him chances and choices that Shawn didn't know what to do with.

Shawn pulled one hand away and felt more than saw Lassiter tense. But all Shawn did was take the key out of the ignition. He tossed the keys into the air and Lassiter caught them easily.

Lassiter drove him home, silent, leaving Shawn to chase questions around his head. Why still keep his secret, why keep acting, why didn't he feel any fear when O'Reilly wrapped that chain around his neck...

Through the reflection on the window, he could see Lassiter stare at him at every red light. He looked like he had his own questions to mull over.

Lassiter followed him up to his apartment, making Shawn pause and give him a inquistive look. Lassiter held up one hand that had Shawn's keys looped over one finger. Shawn gestured for Lassiter to give them over, but Lassiter ignored him, continuing up the stairs. He unlocked Shawn's door and let Shawn in, immediately following.

There was no time for the expected awkward silence. Lassiter finally said, "You didn't fight him. You could have died." Shawn shook his head and walked to lean on the kitchen counter with Lassiter trailing after him. "Tell me why."

Shawn bent over the counter, wanting to sink into the cool surface, but then Lassiter's hand was on his shoulder, turning him around so his back was to it.

"Shawn."

Shawn had been looking forward to the precipice, that last chance to turn back and get control of his life again, only to have Lassiter tell him he'd missed that point by a mile, simply by saying his name.

He missed it by a lot more than a mile, because Lassiter's hand came up, pressing into Shawn cheek before he bent down and gave Shawn the softest, most chaste kiss he could remember. With the effect of a light going out, Shawn's mind was silenced, focusing on the first thing Shawn'd ever had that even resembled something true.

Shawn shook his head and made a soft noise, trying to pull away. Lassiter's hands held him still, right under his jawline, and with the counter at his back, he had no where to go. He kissed Shawn again, and this time there was an insistent pressure, a slide from the corner of his mouth onto his lips. Shawn's eyes closed and his fingers gripped Lassiter's coat and he hazily wondered if he was pushing the man away or pulling him in.

Shawn felt drugged. The world was smooth and slow, all blanketing warmth against his cold skin. Shawn hummed quietly into the kiss and worked his hands under Lassiter's suit, finding liquid heat that worked its way into his body through his arms. Lassiter got a different idea and with a shrug of his shoulders, his jacket hit the floor behind him. Shawn shook his head, wanted to tell him no, you don't understand, but Lassiter pressed against him, one hand sliding up his back, under his shirt and the other cupping Shawn's neck to tilt his head to the side before he really kissed him, biting Shawn's lips to get him to open up and Shawn did, rewarded with the taste of coffee and too much sugar and exhaustion.

He eventually freed Shawn enough so Shawn could breathe and he took long, shallow gulps of air as Lassiter watched him with softened eyes. His gaze stung, that damned understanding and candidness and... Shawn closed his eyes and leaned against Lassiter, resting his forehead against his shoulder. That look in his eyes was wholly new and strange to Shawn.

Lassiter's fingers ran through Shawn's hair, lulling him, yet waking him more effectively than anything else.

Lassiter licked his lips, taking a deep breath before saying in a quiet voice, "Trust me, please."

And, Christ, this was so screwed up and at the same time not. Shawn just didn't have his eyes open to the obvious. "I- I'm not a psychic, I'm-"

Lassiter kissed him, rough and punishing, pushing his way in and bruising Shawn's lips. When he pulled back, it was slight, and when he spoke, Shawn could feel the movement. "That's not what I want and you're not dense enough to think it is."

Shawn closed his eyes and hung his head, thinking, trying to find his way in foreign lands. He heard Lassiter sigh and move slightly away, giving Shawn room. Shawn slipped away from the counter and into a more open area, taking a moment to catch his breath. He looked back to see Lassiter watching him with his icy eyes darkened to a deeper blue.

Shawn licked his lips, tasting something not his own, and nodded. "Lassiter, I have never not trusted you."

Lassiter crossed the room to Shawn, reached out for his wrists and folded Shawn against him, holding Shawn's arms loosely pinned behind his back. "You need to start calling me by my name."

"Carlton."

He hummed in response, lips against Shawn's cheek to ask quietly, "Please," to which Shawn nodded before slipping his hands out of Carlton's grasp and grabbing his collar. He pulled him down into another kiss, regaining some control. Carlton's hand slid under Shawn's shirt, moving fleetingly, tracing his ribs, running along his spine, all while Carlton pushed Shawn out of the living room until the back of his legs hit something and Shawn fell backward onto his bed, dragging Carlton with him.

Something in Shawn's chest tightened and vaguely hurt; this was painful, but in the way of music and physics and the rush of a good lie- a warm, guilty pleasure, but this was without the guilt because maybe Shawn could finally come clean about all the facades and fronts. They were his life, the things that held up his world, but Shawn, thinking slowly and faintly as he was stretched and covered and pressed deep into the mattress, considered the stakes and thought the reward might be worth the risk. There was nothing to lose but an detached, grey life that Shawn was getting sick of anyway.

When he opened his eyes later, Shawn could see the green light of the clock reading 2:42 and the unnatural blue of Carlton's eyes watching him steadily, face open and contemplative.

Carlton whispered a question into the dark, "Why are you still here?"

Shawn knew what he was asking, and Shawn still didn't know, But with a heavy arm like an anchor around his waist and a mind full of truths instead of lies, Shawn thought maybe he had the basic idea.




I am extremely proud of myself for finally finishing this bastard. *slumps to floor*

-Luce

Comments

[zero-dances.livejournal.com]

Score, it's done and I'm so excited you ended eith Shawn/Lassi like we had talked, it ended really great, too, the whole opening up of Shawn was touching (for lack of a less fruity word), and, well, it was overall delicious.

(Uh, in case you didn't figure out by now and in case I never mentioned, this is Bialy, lolz)

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

*grins* As cynical and pessimistic the fic is, I ... just had to end it with a touch of optimism, the chance that he won't always be like this. I'm glad you liked that.

(I could tell. Your icons are distinctive. *wink*)

[neviditelny.livejournal.com]

I've never really been a fan of Shawn/Lassiter, but dayum. You just converted me.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

*puts a feather in her cap* *beams*

[gipped.livejournal.com]

This made just a good happy, "Ungh," sound escape me. ♥
I like your Shawn. Oh, and everything else. Mm.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

*twirls* So glad you liked it!

I put hours and hours and hours of metathinking into Shawn. I just wanted him to make sense since other fic is ignoring the whole "HI, I'M EMOTIONALLY MESSED UP" thing. So, the fact that you liked my Shawn fills me with JOY.

[perpet-fic.livejournal.com]

::dance of joy::

This is so fabulous. All of it. Every single section. Oh, but the last one, with the two of them, and Lassiter *knowing*...

::dies a little::

So fabulous.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

*grins* And Shawn not knowing because, damnit, in all my fics? Lassiter gets the upper hand. It just rings well in the writing for me.

*clings* You liked it! I love you!

[ceares.livejournal.com]

Not a Shawn/Lassiter fan, but it really works for this. Love the dark edges because they totally make sense given his upbringing, and the 'hey life is a great big party' surface.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

Shawn's a total con. Nothing he says can be taken for face value. Makes him fascinating to metafic about, trying to find out how he is really.

And S/L is my OTP for this fandom. I'm a slasher and S/G is a bit... boring. >.> Glad you could stand my OTP and finish the story though.

[marion517.livejournal.com]

Oh, gosh. Wow, this was great. I'm a S/L fan, but the short one, no.4? My favorite. There were a lot of memorable lines, and the way you describe Shawn's methods, the instinctive vs. the thought out choices and Lassiter's breaking through to the truth. Shawn is cute and witty but complex! Gosh. Made my day, and it's only half over. You rock. Thanks for sharing!

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

*HAPPINESS* I'm so glad you liked it! I am supremely honored this made your day. Thank you muchly for the review!

[fofomazuzu.livejournal.com]

Loved the fic. Loved the S/L. I basically loved everything. But something made me wonder: If Shawn gets migranes a lot why will he occasionally bang his head against walls when faking a vision?

[thsfuhqinsux.livejournal.com]

1. I liked this, I liked Shawn's reasons for why he played each instruments individually and I liked that he was proud of it because it was something his dad didn't teach him, something he got on his own.

2. I liked how you tied that banana taste in with the Spellingg Bee, and how he preferred the real kiss to the one that was just a practice kiss. Bananas taste better than lipstick anyway. And I adored how you got Shawn's voice so perfectly with "That opposites attract thingie?" Fantastic!

3. I liked that you had Lassiter remind Shawn of Greg and that you write Lassiter as a sharp guy, not a bumbling idiot with a bad temper, and that Shawn does respect him. That's very much how I see them in canon. I also think that Shawn does things to make Lassiter angry because it keeps Lassiter off balance enough to not catch Shawn in something that would prove he's not a psychic. And because it's fun to him. And because Lassiter is a little bit like his dad is; the very serious, all about the job type cop and he wants to crack him out of that. And a very nice touch, the last line of this one about Shawn being glad not to be the one to always have the power.

5. I kind of had problems with this one because I get kind of on a soapbox about this, but not too bad. See, I have disabling migraines. If two aspirin won't make a dent in the pain, then a fistful won't touch it. If he had migraines that severe, I would think that his parents should have taken him to a doctor and gotten him a prescription for something like Maxalt or whatever was on the market at that time, and maybe something to take daily to help prevent them. But on the other hand, I do like that you subtly indicated that his migraines were due to the stresses of living with his dad and his parents fighting, and with the stress that his dad was putting on him to be what he wanted him to be and how they probably continued after he wasn't with his dad anymore because of the emotional baggage. But I don't think Henry was a complete monster, I think he was just very overbearing. I think he and Shawn do love each other.

6. I just liked for so many reasons I can't list them all. But "you're a cop, act like it" is at the top of the list.

7. Like I said with 6, only add the HOT! Yay, for caring Lassiter who doesn't turn into a big old softy! He was still recognizable but incredibly sweet in a way that I could totally see him being. And kudos to you for venturing to see the other side of Shawn, the non-manic side (and having Lassiter see it too!).

I read Lassiter asking Shawn, "Why are you still here?" initially and thought, 'It's his apartment,' then I got a clue and realized that Lassiter had Shawn pegged, he expected him to be on his way to the next flight of fancy, driving the weenermobile or something. I liked that they each had the other almost figured out but not quite. I like that Shawn thought he had Lassiter all figured out and was taken a little bit by surprise at the end. Good job over all.

I will probably have to break this up into two comments, damnit.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

Lemme just start of by saying: People like you, who do comments like this, who think about what they're reading? Are what make the days of work worth it. Thank you.

1. EXACTLY! *glee* I have this thing about Shawn and Henry- and I won't explain it here, it's too long and meta-ish- that makes me need to give Shawn more than just what Daddy did. He uses what Henry taught him, but I also make sure he's got other things, or else the constant reminder of the Evil of Henry would make it impossible for me to write. Cause, me and Henry? So not BFFs.

2. *twirls* I got the idea from watching the beginning of "Woman Seeking..." and thought Can I come up with a cool reason for Shawn's love of pineapples and bananas? And thus, Greg was created. And yay for real, aburpt, unplanned kissage. *thumbs up*

3. My Lassiter will always be better than the canon's. You should hear me yell at the telly when Shawn trumphs him for the upteenth time- THE MAN IS THE YOUNGEST HEAD DETECTIVE IN THE AREA AND HE'S GOTTA BE SHARPER THAN THIS! *throws things at the TPTB*

And Shawn wanting to snap Lass out of the tough-cop routine: On some level, it seems Shawn is afraid of that lifestyle. It's strange, cause he knows the good it can do and he's basically doing it anyway with his agency but, zomg, noes, never an actually cop! I hope the show goes into that later. January, where are you?!

5. Okay, one, my only experience with migraines in my Grandmum's. We've had to take her to the hospital a few times for them. In hindsight, I wish I hadn't mentioned the word 'migraine', just stuck to 'headache'. *hangs head in shame*

You and I will have to agree to disagree about Henry. To knowingly shape a person from almost birth to be what you want them to be does not fly with me. And while the two may love each other, I don't and it makes my fic biased. But I don't care. Grr, Henry. Grr.

6. I hated writing this! *laughs* I liked Jules quite a bit before I wrote it! Now I really don't. *le sigh* Stupid fic. *kicks fic*

7. The secret purpose of this fic (one that is incredibly pompous and superior, but I'm telling you anyway cause you've earned my fannish respect) was to smack all the other fic writers upside the head and show them how off their characterizations are. Lassiter gets wrecked a lot in H/C fics and I wanted to go "Look! This is how he'd really act! Learn, you dolts!" You earn huge kudos for pointing it out. *hands you candy*

I think, eventually (around S3?), the show is gonna have to make Lassiter figure Shawn out. In my mind, they can't just dance around each other forever. I doubt the show'll take the path I did for Lass finding out (Yay for sex, though), but they better do something. The two need to have this funky "okay, I'm starting to understand you" thing. Because I said so. *taps foot, glares at TPTB*

THANK YOU for the review. You make me wanna write more! Alas, NaNoWriMo is on it's way. The H/C fic where Lass gets shot will have to wait, probably...

[sephirothflame.livejournal.com]

ZOMG. Best PSYCH fic in the world. ^^; I've been waiting for someone to make Lassi out to be... not the bumbling idiot they portray him in the show. (Shawn's always throwing him off, really, he's sharp, maybe brilliant...? ((Um...)) Huh.)

Anyway, Number 4? Totally made me want to cry and strangle Shawn. (However, that would make me a hypocrite, as I do the same thing). Still... Shawn shouldn't lie to Gus. (Hate saying this but...) I think Gus, not deserves but... Shawn's not exactly the best person to choose for a best friend. -frowns-

Meep. I'm turning this into a "Sephiroth Rant Fest". Sorry.

Still, major pwnage darlin'.

-SephirothFlame

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

*sweeping bow* Thank you muchly. *terribly flattered* And in my fic? Lassiter will be done right, I promise you. He's the youngest head detective canonically, so, omg, HE HAS TO BE SMART. *baps the rest of the fandom*

*taps chin* Shawn lies to Gus a lot, and not just in fic. The only difference is that they have this established relationship, so, if anything, Shawn can get away with more lying. Poor Gus.

I loves me long reviews. Thank you!

*gives you cookies*

[magickaldreamer.livejournal.com]

I am mad at myself. This was posted during my month-long ignoring of my friends page period. I regret that greatly. This is freaking fantastic, and I can't believe I missed it when it was posted.

Your characterization is amazing, and I love your Shawn so much. There are no words for my admiration right now.

Is it January yet?

[tigriswolf]

Oh, _wow_.

[chwheeler.livejournal.com]

Hi, uh, I'm not much for reviewing but every so often I find a really good fic that deserves it, and lo and behold, I found one! So. (I suck at reviews, I'm sorry.) I just wanted to say that you did a very nice job with this. Very well written, in character, and plausable. Nice job!

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you SO MUCH! Just letting me know you liked it fills me with joy! *twirls happily* And that you call it "plausable" is the best thing ever. I'm glad I didn't go too insane with it. *sweeping bow* Thank you.

[coldryuuza.livejournal.com]

this is very... cynical yet hopeful at the same time. i like it

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

*smiles* It is, yes. Glad the cynicism doesn't turn you off of it.

Thank you!

Oh, you sooooo win.

[4tehfun.livejournal.com]

At first I was feeling awkward because this is still the only icon I have, but then I saw you have a Colbert one too! /randomness

Oh, oh, you win. I'd been looking for L/S since... holy geez, was it really the first episode? Yeah, it was. Somehow it didn't occur to me until last night to check lj. I found the L/S community a few hours ago... and you win. You sooooo win the 'Best L/S fic read so far. Period.'

THANK GOD someone else is as peeved about TPTBs always having Lassi shown up so completely by WonderBoy and looking like he's not the brightest bulb in the box. Apparently Shawn can see what TPTBs can't, and so can we. Sheesh... speaking of low wattage.

I like 4 so well that I interrupted my roommie watching Torchwood to listen to the little blurb of awesomeness.

As for Jules, I've been frustrated with her for a while, but it was very fulfilling to see my feelings expressed so eloquently.

All in all, kudos!

Re: Oh, you sooooo win.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

Colbert > Everyone. And Sailor!Stephen > Stephen.

I wanted it since Lassiter's introduction. But I've always had a Thing for dark haired, blue eyed men. And Lassiter is fascinating. *hugs him*

Oh, I'm over critical of the TPTB, yes. I've been watching dramas for so long, I expect my characters to be handled better than this show sometimes does. Despte that, I highly approve of the latest two episodes. *grins*

Oooh, I beat out Torchwood. *honored*

*sigh* I liked her until I wrote #6, so I'm a bit ticked over it.

Danke, danke! *bows*

[ilsaluvsrick.livejournal.com]

Very recently got into the fandom and if this is what I'm finding I am going to enjoy myself immensely! Love your Shawn so much. I want to simultaneously hug him and smack him. So many other writers only see OMG WACKY HIJINKS and you show the BUCKETFUL OF issues that I think make up his character for better or worse.

As you said, Henry basically groomed him to be his mini-me and then emotionally abandoned abandoned him. Can you say fucked up? I still stand by the theory that his constant jumping from job to job is just as much fear of failure/getting close to anyone as it is having a short attention span.

Also your Lassiter was wonderful, hurty, awesomeness, and most importantly competant. So gentle after the situation with the suspect, undertanding about the whole psychic thing, the totally hot kiss, and then wham! You hit me in the gut with the "Why are you still here?" Because everyone leaves Lassi in the end, don't they? His wife, his partner, even his mentor. Why would flaky Shawn be any different?

I do agree with you that sometime they are going to have to have Lassiter and Shawn have the I-know-and-you-know -that-I -this-is-all-a "Crock of crap", but-you -get-results-so-lets not-talk-about-it-mkay? , speech. But when it does happen it will never be as amazing as this fic! And not just because in your version they end up having sex. Its because you have such a fantstic handle on everyone,even the minor characters. Although, the man!sex is a huge bonus.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

*grins* I don't actually belong in the Psych fandom, methinks. I come from fandoms where you're meant to look too far into the characters and Psych, especially in episodes that exploit the characters for laughs ("From Earth to Starbucks", anyone?), doesn't do justice to the fascinating people it's got.

*steps off soapbox*

Oh, yes, completely. Though I did enjoy how Henry was handled in the latest episode, Shawn's wanderlust is, to me... it started out rebellion for the structure of his life, but it never stopped because he figured out how to live like that. So he didn't settle down like most people do. *grins* Until Lassiter came along and pigeonholed him, and now I doubt he could go back to that wandering lifestyle (i.e. the concept of part 7 in the fic).

"Why are you still here?" Because everyone leaves Lassi in the end, don't they?

YES. YES YES YES. Oh, here, have a cookie. No. Have two.

*cough* But, yes. For Lassiter, he's just waiting for Shawn to leave because he knows his history and that That's What Shawn Does. But for Shawn, it's ironic since Lassiter taking that last step is what, I think, will anchor Shawn down.

I need to finish the sequel to this fic...

*horribly, terribly flattered* Thank you so much. *just gives you the whole box of cookies*

*and goes to write the sequel*

[bitter-crimson.livejournal.com]

OH BABY.

Someone rec'd this and I'm in lurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve.

[rdlenix.livejournal.com]

D'aw, well written. I really enjoyed it, especially the last part [ of course ] :D!

Fantastic ~<3

[kitsjay.livejournal.com]

After reading nearly everything this fandom has to offer--from the psych_slash to gen to scouring the Pit of Voles in search of fic--I have to say that I think you have the best fics.

For one thing, you are incredibly aware of your characters, and I've never cringed, thinking, "Why is Shawn acting like a three-year-old?" as I've done with many of the fics out there in this fandom. Shawn and Lassiter--and everyone else--act like adults, not some teenager with a crush, or a pre-adolescent puppy love. They're serious, and you bring a depth to them, Shawn especially, that I think the show actually lacks in some ways.

Which, is a good thing. I prefer my shows to be quick and fast-paced, but I prefer my fanfiction to be more intellectually stimulating and engaging, both of which you accomplished admirably.

The little tiny bits of character information are what I live for, and the hints you gave me throughout this fic were tantalizing, providing this insight into Shawn. I read some (well, all) of your Psych meta, and am completely enthralled with this idea that Shawn doesn't know how to tell the truth, and that possibly, he can't bring himself to tell the truth.

I'm interested in Shawn's character, because despite the show sometimes glossing over it, anyone raised like he was would have to have some Issues. (Because I love the twisted-but-still-loving-daddy/son dynamic, though, I'll have to respectfully disagree with your opinion of Henry. It's a holdover from the Supernatural fandom, I think.) You don't dodge this,and you bring it to the forefront in the most delicious way, leaving me wanting to know more and really explore his brain and what makes him who he is.

That said, you don't forsake Lassiter's character, either. He's not stupid, as other fanfiction and, to some degree, the show have portrayed him, and I love how he cuts through Shawn's B.S.

I loved each piece separately, but I think the last was the most moving. For one, your use of sentences and description of the action was amazing. I dabble in fanfiction occasionally, writing as well as reading, and I completely envy the ease which you seemed to have written the entire last bit. It's truly awesome.

It's hotter than NC-17 fic, without ever crossing that line. It's the little things, like with a heavy arm like an anchor around his waist, Lassiter's fingers ran through Shawn's hair, lulling him, and Shawn shook his head and made a soft noise, trying to pull away. Lassiter's hands held him still, right under his jawline that completely took my breath away.

It's low on dialogue, but most of my interest was piqued by what they didn't say...

Incredible, I guess, is where I'm going with this. And when you write more, I will certainly read it.

--Kits

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

You went to the Pit? Oh, honey... *hugs you*

I will agree with you on the show's faults wholly, yes, and, god, I'm... so elated that you think of my work so highly.

Actually, my opinion of Henry is softening after his latest episode. New evidence and all that shine. He's not Satan anymore. *petulant frown*

Shawn is so emotionall screwed up and is the perfect little liar- you can't catch him in it, he's got the unfair advantage that makes the playing field so tilted. And Lassiter- oh, it took real willpower not to examine him even more in this fic, but one of my betas helpfully reminded me, "Bitch, you've already done a Lassiter-centric fic, stick to the topic". But to me, Lassiter is so complex, though the one I write, I'm very sad to say, is not the one I see on the telly. Stupid TPTB, using him for laughs. *le sigh* Now I remember why I hate comedies...

What fandoms have your written in? I'm rather curious now...

I wish the English language had a word for how grateful I am for this. So consider this a thank you to the nth degree.

[hack-benjamin22.livejournal.com]

In the past two days I have scoured the 'net for Psych fanfiction. I read everything there was to read. It strikes me that you are the only writer that sticks out in my mind. You seem to be one of the only people to portray these characters as actual people.

It's a fairly dark story and I like it that way. It touches on all that emotionally messed up stuff that the show and other fanfiction writers don't seem to want touch. So kudos for that and thank you. Thank you for complete sentances, correct spelling, good grammer, and wonderful characterization.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

God, thank you. I keep saying that to all these reviews, but I mean it. I'm so very grateful people enjoy these two fics and that such dark stories are being thought of so highly. Gah. *twirls happily*

Thank you. *gives you a platter of cupcakes* Since I'm starting an even darker Psych fic, this kind of thing is exactly what I needed to hear.

[samibee.livejournal.com]

Wow, this is pretty awesome, I love the darkness to this character study. Its easy to write silly and cute psych fics, but to write a serious one with any credibility takes talent.

ps: you get like a bazillion awesome points for using a quote from the servent in your daily show header

[samibee.livejournal.com]

ServAnt that is (facepalms)

[euphonious-glow.livejournal.com]

Hi there. I found this on a rec list and since I'm relatively new to the fandom (although not the show) I thought I'd check it out. And I'm really glad I did.

1. I've always associated Shawn with music for some reason. I just think he'd love it. I like how his instruments relate to different relationships he has in his life. The guitar and his mom, the drums and Gus, the piano and his dad. I happen to love the piano, and I love the description of why he loves to play it.

2. This was so sweet. I liked how Shawn and Greg became friends, and the kiss was just perfect. It's a really interesting memory. And Shawn's ears turning red? Pure love.

3. The first paragraph is perfect. I think the comparison between Lassiter and Greg is very keen, and they are very different although somewhat alike. I like Shawn's observations about Lassiter, and why he enjoys making him angry. Since Lassiter is so smart (and thank you for making him so), Shawn knows that making Lassiter lose his composure is the only way to sneak around him.

4. This kind of breaks my heart. It's sad because Shawn knows he can pull Gus's strings better than anyone else. It's a very unique look at their friendship. But I still think Shawn cares about Gus. He's really the only friend he has.

5. Are the headaches mentioned in the show or just something you made up? Still, it's an interesting look at what the stress in his life has done to him. I was pleased to see a little more development in Shawn's character in the newer episodes, finally showing some of his problems with his father.

6. In a way, this strikes me as the most cynical piece. I'd really never seen Shawn or Jules this way before. When I watch the show again, I'll probably remember this one.

7. On the one hand, Lassiter's attention seems like a stretch, because I just can't get my head around him being the one taking the initiative. But then I think about it more and it makes perfect sense. It made me sad that Gus moved away though, and Shawn couldn't figure out why he was still there, after he had spent his whole life moving from place to place. I think my favorite sentence here is "Now Lassiter kept giving him chances and choices that Shawn didn't know what to do with." It just hints at so many things going on that you only hint at. And I like how Lassiter is really sharp here, how he notices that Shawn didn't fight and could have died.

And Lassiter asking him why he was still there in the end. Aw man, that sealed it.

Even though I'd never considered darkfic with Psych, this worked perfectly. I could actually see the characters saying these things. Next time I watch the show I'll definitely be seeing it in this light.

Sorry the comment is so long, especially since you wrote it a few months ago.

[rivana.livejournal.com]

I'm proud of you too. *hugs* This was beautiful. Very well thought out. Fine characterization and just generally gut punching material. Well done.

[glam-geek.livejournal.com]

OMG, favorites list! I loved it all but #4 HURT, I physically recoiled from my computer screen. My favorite part of the whole fic was the language, it flowed beautifully and kept me hanging on every word.

[smilesawakeyou.livejournal.com]

Okay, so I literally just discovered this fandom tonight (I know, lame me) and OH MY FREAKING BEJEEBUS. This is amazing and I love you. *iz ded from teh LURVE*

[eternal-dolor.livejournal.com]

Awesome story. Sad and so sweet