you're the one who grows distant when I beckon you near

Checking FM lately makes me angry.

I just... fuck. I want to RP so badly because I haven't in so long and I don't have any good ideas for FM, and I'm so not going to go into a big public RP after I fucked up again, and the RP I was excited about isn't viable anymore it seems and dammit.

I'm just... incredibly frustrated with life and fandom lately and I don't have an outlet anymore and it's making me crazy.

Fuck.

-Lucy

ETA: I wonder if I can use Hal having a broken leg in my clichefic... I mean, a certain person already did a whole fic on it, right? hm.

(no subject)

So between my last late night whinge post and now, wank happened, I assume?

... I'm tempted to ask if anyone wants codecmoments's useraccount info. More and more, I don't think I'll be playing him again. Yes, wank involving other people that I don't even (want) to know about makes me want to drop the account forever. Yeah, yeah. Well, I can't continue with a hobby that hurts my friends so much, so.

You know, fic doesn't garner wank. It's not as fun as RP, but fic is a lot calmer fannishly... I think I'll just work on that clichefic idea I had. Is anyone else doing a Snake/Otacon with Snake as a sleeper agent? Hopefully not. Should be interesting and really depressing if I pull it off right though.

-Lucy