I swear the following is true.

[luciazephyr]

For canthlian, because he'd kill me if I didn't mention something this rich.

CHAT QUOTE OF THE DAY

Lucia: *cries with laughter* I live for soapgatelantis.
Bridget: what's so funny?
Lucia: Shepwhore.
Bridget: *goes*
Lucia: No, i'm reading the older stuff. Refreshing my memory of this twisted cumm.
Lucia: COMM! omfg, I so ment comm!
Bridget: lmao
Lucia: *Just dies* No one is to ever hear about that typo, I swear to god.


XD

Comments

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

NO! The first time sex happened was when O'Neill was stranded offworld, and everyone knows that when you're in another country/world it doesn't count-

... I just justified SGL. GO ME! *dances* Fine. I like your ears. They're cute.

*tears a little bit* I have to, unless you tell me where the stuff is... *tears a bit more*

[tehshepwhore.livejournal.com]

See? Atlantis = sex.

I AM NOT SPOCK!

*Weeps and cries*

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

And justifiable sex. Interesting. But what happens when you get home and have to explain this crap to General O'Neill?

*hugs* Of course you aren't. You're Kirk. Just... with better hearing.

Tell me, bitch! I'll go borrow Weir's paddle!

[tehshepwhore.livejournal.com]

I give him a blowjob to distract and run back to Antarctica.

Um. Okay.

*Cries for his poster*

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

... Situation: You have to explain the stuff that went on in `Lantis. You are facing court marshal. You cannot blow Jack because RC/Carter/Maybourne is under the table already doing that. What do you do?

... REALLY good hearing. *rubs teh ears*

Oh FINE! Enough crying! *repairs poster* Crybaby.

[tehshepwhore.livejournal.com]

Have graphic sex with the prosecutor and run away while people are wondering exactly what it is I did with my tongue.

*Moans like a Ferengi*

My poster better?

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

o.o Damn, I hope they have video of this. It'd be fucking hilarious. But won't your four boyfriends be pissed?

...Does Derek know about this? *rubs more*

Yes, yes. Happy? *pouts* I want that money, just to annoy you.

[tehshepwhore.livejournal.com]

I ONLY HAVE ONE BOYFRIEND! *Cries*

Probably. He has a way of knowing these things.

My poster okay. *Happy*

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

Fine. One boyfriend and three sluts.

Cool. This sex thing is interesting. *blinkstare* Are your ears pierced?!

...It's just a poster, man.

[tehshepwhore.livejournal.com]

... not fair.

My ears are not pierced!

It's my poster!

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

How is that NOT fair? Derek and your sluts!

Are so. Did you get drunk and pass out around someone with a needle recently? Maybe Weir has a new sadistic sex fetish?

And? I could get five on eBay!

[tehshepwhore.livejournal.com]

Derek's gonna kill me. *Facepalms*

Um. Maybe? What's in there?

NOT MINE!

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

He is not. The sluts will protect you. At most, you'll be snipped.

...Penis earrings.

...*check his computer logs* Let's see what you HAVE bought.

[tehshepwhore.livejournal.com]

... ah.

... DAMNIT! Get them out?

No! Stop! Sit! Stay!

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

*will protect also, as Shepwhore is cute and fun to talk to*

Why? They're cute!

.... Ooo! Fanfics!*click*

[tehshepwhore.livejournal.com]

*Is to hot too let die*

I do not wanna look like a cheap slut! Get them out!

STOP!

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

*agrees, but that's not the reason why she's protecting* *pets*

But they are to die for! *plays with them* And Lizzie will adore them.

*reading, jaw drop* Omfg, did you write this?

[tehshepwhore.livejournal.com]

Get them out, or I'll rip them out.

... SHUT UP!

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

*covers his ears* Not until she sees them! *does the ear rub thing again*

But it's sooooo cute! *squee* Until the smut, but still! Kewtness!

[tehshepwhore.livejournal.com]

*Cries*

SHUT UP!

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

You cry a lot. *jangles penis earrings*

Awww! *clicks around some more* Songfics! Squee!

[tehshepwhore.livejournal.com]

Because everyone is always picking on me.

You're a bitch.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

Only because I love you. *takes out the earrings* *hands them to Shep*

And it's to 'Unchained Melody'! Awww! How many reviews did you get?

[tehshepwhore.livejournal.com]

*DESTROYS THE EARRINGS*

... fifty seven. Shut up.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

*sad* I would have liked those. *adorable pout*

Nice. You write good smut/romance. If the whole killing-aliens thing doesn't work out, you can be a women's novel writer.